Sex Smorgasbord

I tried to just focus on one aspect of the topic at hand, but sex is way too complex to marginalize so let's explore, shall we? *rubs hands together*

Defined

I would like to say that sex is only a way for two people who really care for each other to physically connect and express their love to one another....but that is simply not the case and hasn't been for a very long time. Among other things, sex today is a tool for validation, revenge, strictly pleasure with no emotional attachment, a barter system (monetary or otherwise), a hobby, profession, etc., etc. Not to pass judgement on any of these because I've definitely used a few of these myself, but it's safe to say that sex (like anything else) is not being used solely for its intended purpose on a large scale. We all have different views on what is right or wrong about it but we can all agree that it has been categorically humanized. On a smaller scale it can be the most beautiful fulfilling thing on the planet and also the biggest detriment we've ever experienced, based on how both parties perceive the act. Which leads me to a HUGE misconception that I have both witnessed and been involved in....

"Women give sex to get love. Men give love to get sex." 

I read somewhere that someone said something to the effect of...If men didn't think with their penises (peni?...lol), most women would still be virgins....i couldn't disagree with anything more. Being that every woman (barring rape) makes a conscious decision every time she opens her legs, the consequences are a result of that decision...good or bad. Whether she was led on or not is irrelevant. I've noticed that a lot of women prefer to use scapegoats to avoid admitting that they just made a terrible decision. It may seem easier and may feel better to put the blame on the other party but it actually makes you look that much weaker. It implies that you are incapable of making decisions for yourself...and if that is truly the case, you deserve to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

 Cee-Lo Green - Bodies (Produced By Salaam Remi) by EVO85

(marinate on that)

In addition, I can't be convinced that in 2011 women aren't openly and equally (if not more) sexually suggestive, aggressive, and down right horny as men. Open your eyes, it's not 1955 anymore. The modern woman is just that...modern. Accept your duality as a human being...embrace it and all the decisions that come with it. Right or wrong. And be careful who you *decide* to open your legs to.

There are those times when you make a good decision and it hits on all cylinders. In my experience, sex is SO much better when you have built an actual connection and a relationship (on whatever level) with the other person. You actually care about pleasing them and take time to learn every curve, every spot, every quirk. And when it's over, you're not overcome with instant regret while counting the seconds before they get dressed and leave. Versus...

"In the bathroom doing that ' What am I doing?' crap...hoping I can leave by 4:15/ Knowing all she really wants is a '2/14' but in the meantime settles for me, 'Mr. Sheets'..." 

We've all been down that road which more often than not ends on unfavorable terms. That or it just ends and while it was adequate enough while it lasted, we're left with that empty void that we came in with that the sex alone inevitably could not fill. Being on the same page with your partner adds that emotional fulfillment to the physical act along with all the extras. You can communicate what you want more effectively, do all the crazy things you always wanted to but couldn't, try new things, and explore boundaries. It also helps being very candid about your sexual history...in my opinion. My lady and I frequently discuss our past "encounters" and it never gets weird or feels like I'm talking to my girl....feels like two friends just chatting. I've noticed that it breaks down the walls of mystery and places our connection on a higher level without anyone getting jealous or speculating. Some would rather deal with the present and not display their past, but I believe my past is what shaped who I am today and my partner should know that. It's my story, so I must share it.

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