Hello, fam! It's been a while since we last spoke, but we hope (actually we know for a fact) that you enjoyed our Seductive Sirens. Keep in mind that this series will proceed during the last week in each month. We enjoyed it as well, and more so enjoyed bringing it to you. MUCH love, respect, and thanks to Memorie, Katriesa, and Leslie for their contributions this week. You all were amazing and really upped the ante for our blog. We can't wait until you bless us again in the future!
To our new viewers, thanks for joining us! Rest assured that you can expect the same quality of work going forward as you witnessed this week....just from a male perspective (but an objective one). We started this blog as a way for us to connect with each other and with you so that we can all learn and grow from each other, and we definitely will continue with that mindset. With that said, we are back to Ghidorah business as usual starting on Monday with Vaughn P. first up on the mic!
New look
More laughs
More enlightenment
More growth
Join us...will you? And as always, your support is much appreciated! Hope everyone has a great weekend. Don't do anything stupid for Halloween/Classic/homecoming...we'd like to see you on Monday.
Peace!
This is the official blog of Gevar, Jrome and Vaughn. We named it Ghidorah because King Ghidorah is a 3 headed dragon, and in some ways we can be a three headed beast. We chose to blog because many people were interested in our opinions and conversation that they participated in. This blog allows people to see our viewpoint and even challenge our ideas.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
To Be A Woman: A Gift or a Curse
I have recently been reading a book titled, What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman written by Danielle Crittenden. She filled close to 200 pages, 191 to be exact, with an overly complicated theory about how feminism has robbed women of their essence…how feminism has thwarted the meaning of being “feminine.” While she made many good points, she also in my opinion, took the plight of the modern woman and turned it entirely too scientific. However, there were several points that she did make that opened my eyes, and have helped me to build upon my own theory. Let me expound…
Crittenden states that woman’s problem lies in the fact that, “while we recognize that women are human, we blind ourselves to the fact that we are also women” (22) and goes on to the rhetorical idea that “it should strike us as strange, given the freedom we now enjoy, that happiness should continue to be so elusive” (24). My own thoughts tend to agree with hers as she makes the interesting recollection that, “in all the ripping down of barriers that has taken place over generations, we may have inadvertently also smashed the foundations necessary for our happiness” (25). The last quotation is the one that struck me most. Everyone knows too well the idea that the modern woman is striving, overzealously, towards becoming the equal to man. And just as known, is the consequential result that in seeking to be viewed as asexual, woman loses the essence of what makes her special. The problem is though that many people, Crittenden included, try to explain this slip in the female being with the wrong logic. I personally think there is no logic at all...because the problem is far from scientific. Our world has lost the meaning in which we were all created and thus, we will continue to argue what we have lost until we admit what we all need to find…Woman’s plight is spiritually based. You see, woman was created as a gift. We were made from man’s rib…created to be a companion, a nurturer, a compliment. The last mentioned purpose of our creation is what many of our generation have lost sight of, both men and women alike. I can write a whole separate piece about why men are perpetuating the ugly cycle of women losing their own sense of identities but I will leave that for another time. For now, I would like to speak to and for my ladies… Today’s media is filled with acknowledgements of just how far we as women have drifted from the simple essence of our beings. Literature, fashion, music and cosmetics are nothing but brutal realizations of what society feels is our calling, our duty, our responsibility and they speak loudly each and every day to women of all races, ages, creeds and beliefs. Magazines are covered with front page articles depicting what tips are needed to make us “sexual kittens” and how to “lose weight fast” while “making sure your neighbor doesn’t steal your husband.” In the same pages you will read about “how to become a better mother” and “how to embrace your sensuality.” A few years ago, songs such as Bills, Bills, Bills showcased lyrics about how women needed a man to pay for common necessities such as a telephone and a car. Today, that same idea is being repeated with women throwing their hands up when Teairra Marie’s Sponsor plays loudly through the club. But, in the same night, those same women chant with Lil’ Boosie about how they are I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. The cosmetic industry sells soaps and creams to “erase your dark spots” and serums to “minimize laugh lines around your eyes.” Ironically, the aforementioned products sit directly next to products that boast about “celebrating effortless beauty” with “100% natural mineral products.” Crazy how such a clear contradiction in all forms of media is not even noticed by those who sing their lyrics, read their pages or buy and wear their products. This lack of attention, this follow-the-crowd mentality, is EXACTLY what I think lies as the basis for the female plight. We as women have a natural tendency to follow. Why though? Is it because we are weak? Is it because we have no mind of our own? Is it that we think our own ideas are inferior to the suggestions and rules laid forth by society or time? No! Women are natural followers because it is how we were created. We were molded, by God, to compliment and nurture man. Women need to re-accept this biblical law and simultaneously realize, that being a follower does NOT omit our own sense of lead. What are we trying to prove? Who really matters? What judgment counts most? And, why is it that we are so consumed with trying to make our point of being equal or better than man that we forget that we were created for man? Let me regress back to my earlier point. Women today are confused! Blame it on media, blame it on bad parenting, blame it on drugs and promiscuity. I blame it on a lack of spiritual guidance. We as women have gotten too far away from our roots, too far away from God! I have heard some argue that one will never understand what they are never taught. And, I agree that this is an indisputable logic when it comes to morality. Therefore, since very few of our parents are teaching us at a young age that we should value being women, we are faced with finding value in what society teaches. Instead of realizing the power and beauty of our ability to procreate, we are taught to practice safe sex and to please a man wholeheartedly by any means necessary to avoid losing him. Instead of being comfortable with the most challenging and likewise, most rewarding job out there—motherhood, we are taught that our paychecks must equal a man’s and that we are not to settle for anything less in an effort to not be judged as inferior to our male counterparts. Instead of celebrating that beauty comes in many shapes, sizes and colors, we are taught that beauty must be cosmetic, thin and most entirely, superficial. Regardless of what shapes your beliefs, you are what you believe in…. Therefore, if the belief and value of oneself is not fostered positively and fervently at a young age…then you never learn the value of thinking for yourself. And, as a result, you will subconsciously allow society to make decisions for your life and be held captive by their rules. 
We as women need to realize that we hold so much more power than society is willing to admit.
But, a lot of that power lies in the challenge of being submissive. I am not saying that we need to reduce ourselves to the 1960’s when it was unheard of for a woman to hold a powerful corporate position. Matter of a fact, I believe that a lot of the ideas gained from the feminist movements over the years have gotten us to a point where we are probably the most intellectual of all prior generations. What we have lost though, is our spiritual knowledge. Let us not forget that in falling back a little every once in a while, we will actually make many strides forward. Let us cater to our men more often than not. Let us put value back into the stay-at-home-mom. Let us help those in need, even if the one in need is the “bitch next door.” Let us realize how beautiful we are, and how pointless face lift, hair dye and liposuction really is…Let us value what it is to truly be a woman. “How?” you might ask. Well, let us start where it all began...let us get back to God. Let us spend less time shopping for clothes to get noticed in while dancing in the clubs. Let us spend more time reading and praying and trying to get the attention of the one man that will never let us down. We are all promised a husband, when we start believing that, we’ll realize that the right man will see us for who we are—not how we look. Let us spend less time putting on make-up and fixing our hair so that we fit society’s expectations. Let us spend more time looking in the mirror and being thankful for our health, our blessings, our gifts…focusing on what we do have instead of what God didn’t give us. Trust me, we are all made in God’s perfect image, remembering that will save us all a lot of wasted time and money. Let us spend less time listening to artists and lyrics that demean our value as women. Let us spend more time celebrating the success stories of those women around us, filling our lives with positive dialogue and listening to and watching things that will challenge us both spiritually and intellectually. Let us spend less time tearing down the woman next to us and gossiping. Let us spend more time going to God when we have a problem instead of our girlfriend. Ten times out of ten HE will be right in his advice and you will never have to worry about ulterior motives or jealousy. Let us spend less time picking arguments and talking at times just to hear ourselves talk--fighting to have the last word. Let us spend more time listening to God rather than listening to ourselves. Let us spend more time learning to breathe…to stop and take a moment to reflect on what really matters…to value our eternity over our today.
We as women have no harder of a role than that of man. We have no more strict or brutal expectations placed on us by society than our male counterparts. It is time we accept this equality of struggle and embrace our differences and trials due to those differences. However, we must not let our gifts become our curse. We must not let the natural urges to follow and be submissive cause us to follow or submit to those things or people that do not matter. We must keep our focus on love and away from lust, on partnership rather than power and on family rather than independence. It is when we realize the power of being a counterpart, that we will realize the capability and value of the TEAM for which we were created. When we take the focus off of ourselves individually, we will all see the bigger picture. They say that, “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts…” Thus, when we as women realize our gift as being a part of a whole, we shall realize the true value of our individual and unique being. We shall realize not only our purpose, but our responsibility to our future generations and more over, to the men that we were designed to nurture. We shall realize the beauty in properly following and the power in maintaining our own integrity, even when we are not in the lead….After all, it takes just as much strength to foster trust and follow as it does to lead...if not more so.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
_____________________________________________________________________________________
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say, It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say, It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say, It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
from And Still I Rise
by Maya Angelou
copyright © 1978
by Maya Angelou.
Crittenden states that woman’s problem lies in the fact that, “while we recognize that women are human, we blind ourselves to the fact that we are also women” (22) and goes on to the rhetorical idea that “it should strike us as strange, given the freedom we now enjoy, that happiness should continue to be so elusive” (24). My own thoughts tend to agree with hers as she makes the interesting recollection that, “in all the ripping down of barriers that has taken place over generations, we may have inadvertently also smashed the foundations necessary for our happiness” (25). The last quotation is the one that struck me most. Everyone knows too well the idea that the modern woman is striving, overzealously, towards becoming the equal to man. And just as known, is the consequential result that in seeking to be viewed as asexual, woman loses the essence of what makes her special. The problem is though that many people, Crittenden included, try to explain this slip in the female being with the wrong logic. I personally think there is no logic at all...because the problem is far from scientific. Our world has lost the meaning in which we were all created and thus, we will continue to argue what we have lost until we admit what we all need to find…Woman’s plight is spiritually based. You see, woman was created as a gift. We were made from man’s rib…created to be a companion, a nurturer, a compliment. The last mentioned purpose of our creation is what many of our generation have lost sight of, both men and women alike. I can write a whole separate piece about why men are perpetuating the ugly cycle of women losing their own sense of identities but I will leave that for another time. For now, I would like to speak to and for my ladies… Today’s media is filled with acknowledgements of just how far we as women have drifted from the simple essence of our beings. Literature, fashion, music and cosmetics are nothing but brutal realizations of what society feels is our calling, our duty, our responsibility and they speak loudly each and every day to women of all races, ages, creeds and beliefs. Magazines are covered with front page articles depicting what tips are needed to make us “sexual kittens” and how to “lose weight fast” while “making sure your neighbor doesn’t steal your husband.” In the same pages you will read about “how to become a better mother” and “how to embrace your sensuality.” A few years ago, songs such as Bills, Bills, Bills showcased lyrics about how women needed a man to pay for common necessities such as a telephone and a car. Today, that same idea is being repeated with women throwing their hands up when Teairra Marie’s Sponsor plays loudly through the club. But, in the same night, those same women chant with Lil’ Boosie about how they are I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. The cosmetic industry sells soaps and creams to “erase your dark spots” and serums to “minimize laugh lines around your eyes.” Ironically, the aforementioned products sit directly next to products that boast about “celebrating effortless beauty” with “100% natural mineral products.” Crazy how such a clear contradiction in all forms of media is not even noticed by those who sing their lyrics, read their pages or buy and wear their products. This lack of attention, this follow-the-crowd mentality, is EXACTLY what I think lies as the basis for the female plight. We as women have a natural tendency to follow. Why though? Is it because we are weak? Is it because we have no mind of our own? Is it that we think our own ideas are inferior to the suggestions and rules laid forth by society or time? No! Women are natural followers because it is how we were created. We were molded, by God, to compliment and nurture man. Women need to re-accept this biblical law and simultaneously realize, that being a follower does NOT omit our own sense of lead. What are we trying to prove? Who really matters? What judgment counts most? And, why is it that we are so consumed with trying to make our point of being equal or better than man that we forget that we were created for man? Let me regress back to my earlier point. Women today are confused! Blame it on media, blame it on bad parenting, blame it on drugs and promiscuity. I blame it on a lack of spiritual guidance. We as women have gotten too far away from our roots, too far away from God! I have heard some argue that one will never understand what they are never taught. And, I agree that this is an indisputable logic when it comes to morality. Therefore, since very few of our parents are teaching us at a young age that we should value being women, we are faced with finding value in what society teaches. Instead of realizing the power and beauty of our ability to procreate, we are taught to practice safe sex and to please a man wholeheartedly by any means necessary to avoid losing him. Instead of being comfortable with the most challenging and likewise, most rewarding job out there—motherhood, we are taught that our paychecks must equal a man’s and that we are not to settle for anything less in an effort to not be judged as inferior to our male counterparts. Instead of celebrating that beauty comes in many shapes, sizes and colors, we are taught that beauty must be cosmetic, thin and most entirely, superficial. Regardless of what shapes your beliefs, you are what you believe in…. Therefore, if the belief and value of oneself is not fostered positively and fervently at a young age…then you never learn the value of thinking for yourself. And, as a result, you will subconsciously allow society to make decisions for your life and be held captive by their rules.
We as women need to realize that we hold so much more power than society is willing to admit.
But, a lot of that power lies in the challenge of being submissive. I am not saying that we need to reduce ourselves to the 1960’s when it was unheard of for a woman to hold a powerful corporate position. Matter of a fact, I believe that a lot of the ideas gained from the feminist movements over the years have gotten us to a point where we are probably the most intellectual of all prior generations. What we have lost though, is our spiritual knowledge. Let us not forget that in falling back a little every once in a while, we will actually make many strides forward. Let us cater to our men more often than not. Let us put value back into the stay-at-home-mom. Let us help those in need, even if the one in need is the “bitch next door.” Let us realize how beautiful we are, and how pointless face lift, hair dye and liposuction really is…Let us value what it is to truly be a woman. “How?” you might ask. Well, let us start where it all began...let us get back to God. Let us spend less time shopping for clothes to get noticed in while dancing in the clubs. Let us spend more time reading and praying and trying to get the attention of the one man that will never let us down. We are all promised a husband, when we start believing that, we’ll realize that the right man will see us for who we are—not how we look. Let us spend less time putting on make-up and fixing our hair so that we fit society’s expectations. Let us spend more time looking in the mirror and being thankful for our health, our blessings, our gifts…focusing on what we do have instead of what God didn’t give us. Trust me, we are all made in God’s perfect image, remembering that will save us all a lot of wasted time and money. Let us spend less time listening to artists and lyrics that demean our value as women. Let us spend more time celebrating the success stories of those women around us, filling our lives with positive dialogue and listening to and watching things that will challenge us both spiritually and intellectually. Let us spend less time tearing down the woman next to us and gossiping. Let us spend more time going to God when we have a problem instead of our girlfriend. Ten times out of ten HE will be right in his advice and you will never have to worry about ulterior motives or jealousy. Let us spend less time picking arguments and talking at times just to hear ourselves talk--fighting to have the last word. Let us spend more time listening to God rather than listening to ourselves. Let us spend more time learning to breathe…to stop and take a moment to reflect on what really matters…to value our eternity over our today.
We as women have no harder of a role than that of man. We have no more strict or brutal expectations placed on us by society than our male counterparts. It is time we accept this equality of struggle and embrace our differences and trials due to those differences. However, we must not let our gifts become our curse. We must not let the natural urges to follow and be submissive cause us to follow or submit to those things or people that do not matter. We must keep our focus on love and away from lust, on partnership rather than power and on family rather than independence. It is when we realize the power of being a counterpart, that we will realize the capability and value of the TEAM for which we were created. When we take the focus off of ourselves individually, we will all see the bigger picture. They say that, “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts…” Thus, when we as women realize our gift as being a part of a whole, we shall realize the true value of our individual and unique being. We shall realize not only our purpose, but our responsibility to our future generations and more over, to the men that we were designed to nurture. We shall realize the beauty in properly following and the power in maintaining our own integrity, even when we are not in the lead….After all, it takes just as much strength to foster trust and follow as it does to lead...if not more so.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in front.Nelson Mandela -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
_____________________________________________________________________________________
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say, It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say, It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say, It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
from And Still I Rise
by Maya Angelou
copyright © 1978
by Maya Angelou.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Just. Be. You. Girl!
Hello Ghidorah3 readers! I am Miss K. Ann otherwise known as @TheInsatiable1 and I will guest writing as well for the blog. Just so you know a lil’ bit more about me: born and raised in Birmingham/Hoover, Alabama. Hoover High and THE University of Alabama graduate (‘03, ‘07 and ‘10—Roll Tide!) and I am currently an unemployed attorney…that’s another post. I will go in and out of formal legal speak and writin’ like dis, so don’t be confused, it’s how I really am. I may catch flack for what I say, but as long as it’s constructive, I welcome it.
I want to start my fledgling blogging career by discussing a topic that tends to irk my nerves when it comes to women especially. It’s a simple concept of being yourself on a behavioral level (the beauty/physical aspect has been beaten to death IMO). Sounds easy, hard to accomplish.
Example: many people know I have a love/hate/blah relationship with Beyoncé. I got plenty of her songs, but I tend to be weary of girls/women who look too perfect, who look too put together. That’s probably why I adore Solange, she has enough balls to flip the establishment and flip them the finger at the same time, bald head and all. I rolled my eyes as far back in my head as they could go when Beyoncé came out with this “alter ego” Sasha Fierce for her last album. This “alter ego” is who she transformed into on stage while “Beyoncé” stay quietly in a corner in her dressing room backstage, waiting on her owner to claim her once again. My question from day one was this: Why can’t Sasha and Beyoncé co-exist in the same person all the time? Why is it that one has to be neatly put away while the other wriggles around on stage for 2 hours, only to be shelved for the next concert date?
That’s why I said if I ever got the chance to meet Beyoncé, I’d only have one thing to say to her: Just. Be. You. Girl! If Sasha is how you really are, then let her fly free all the time, just not on stage. I know I’d have more respect for you and I guarantee others wouldn’t lose the respect they have for you if you did. If you scared, say you scared, but don’t let that fear keep you from being just you, girl! Lady Gaga is the same (insert adjective here) woman on stage, in front of the cameras, and off, hence why I like her as well. You’d think she would’ve rubbed off on her when they filmed the “Telephone” video…I think it sets a dangerous precedent for girls to think that they have to contain their wacky, free-flowing ways to the confines of their room, or a stage. Besides…
If you’ve known me long enough and have had the fortune (or misfortune) of being around me with a camera, more than likely I have several “gotcha” photos of you. Heck, I’ve had several taken of me. I love to show/post them on Facebook or other sites, but I’ve nearly fallen out with several friends over them. Why? The difference is I don’t mind them at all while some folks seem to want to present a polished image of themselves to Facebook and beyond. Why? For what? People aren’t dumb enough to think you always look like this>>>
, they know sometimes you look straight busted, like this >>>
, so why not show them all the facets of who you are? I guarantee no one’s going to look at you any differently, they may even appreciate it and try it themselves. Imagine that! A movement of women being themselves!
So what are you afraid of? Just. Be. You. Girl!
Flame away…
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
What is the definition of "me"
Disclaimer: I wrote this on the train on my phone (the only free time I have in a day) so excuse my errors in grammar and spelling.
Have you ever thought to yourself, "Why am I the way I am and how did I get here?" Over the years we've made plenty of "bad" decisions and even more questionable ones. But I believe "bad" is a term subjective to how much we've accepted change in our lives and how willing we are to move forward. I could go on and on about living life with no regrets and the bigger picture....(insert yawn). But as human beings it seems that we use the "what if" as a way to cope with those "bad decisions". Almost as if we use the knowledge to validate our deviation from the paths set before us by a third party (parents, teachers, etc.) Is that what a lack of regret actually means? That we haven't necessarily accepted our past as a catalyst for growth but instead an excuse to let our aspirations plateau?
Recently I've posed this very question to myself. You will never hear me complain about what life has thrown at me, but is that due to the acceptance that extravagant dreams are no longer a viable component of my journey? Excuse my language but fuck that, my socially "bad decisions" and mishaps are my favorite and most memorable situations. And almost always they are a derivative of some epiphany that prefaced the action (or in some cases, the lack thereof).
Some of us had children out of wedlock, or got married too early, etc. etc. Now, where is it written that once you've introduced such a profound and irreversible alteration in your life your "dreams" no longer factor into the path of your life. For one, my mother did this to me. Every decision I made/make equates to my lack of maternal instinct and inability as a mother. So now its inherent guilt that subconsciously makes me think twice when I'm "too happy". If I'm happy, its always at someone else's expense right? Yes, that sounds/looks silly when the words are given tangibility, so why then, do we allow this mentality to resonate in our own personal pursuit of euphoria?
In a sense, its common to strive for mediocrity. Especially as women, we feel the incessant desire to provide for someone else, whether a child, spouse, parent, friend, or hell a complete stranger with limitless inconsideration for how it places a definitive ceiling on our own growth and well-being. I've done all of the above, as most of you have I'm sure, but in all honestly, the ultimate ability to provide for any of these entities is ONLY derived from the internally and often ambiguous ability to look out for ourselves.
Back to basics for a minute. Take a woman who works her ass off to provide for her children as a single mother and make sure her children want for nothing. And look at the dad who stays with his overbearing wife working hard (watch Diary of Tired Black Man). As a society, we think "that's a worthy person" because we can assign tangible hardship to their journey. FF 15 years, the kids are grown, and have a fear of commitment etc. All because they've never witnessed what its like to simply pursue happiness. Ok PBS time is over but am I making a little more sense?
So regret is not something we have to eliminate, but let it be an opportunity to further our dreams and reach for something outrageously silly that will make those closest to us shake their heads and question our sanity. That's how we can best provide for them. Fuck them all, and only then can we learn to love them in ways we never could comprehend before. There it is. Good night and live it up!
P.S. if I was on a computer I would post Joss Stone-"Right to be wrong" check this isht out ASAP as possible...hehehe
Have you ever thought to yourself, "Why am I the way I am and how did I get here?" Over the years we've made plenty of "bad" decisions and even more questionable ones. But I believe "bad" is a term subjective to how much we've accepted change in our lives and how willing we are to move forward. I could go on and on about living life with no regrets and the bigger picture....(insert yawn). But as human beings it seems that we use the "what if" as a way to cope with those "bad decisions". Almost as if we use the knowledge to validate our deviation from the paths set before us by a third party (parents, teachers, etc.) Is that what a lack of regret actually means? That we haven't necessarily accepted our past as a catalyst for growth but instead an excuse to let our aspirations plateau?
Recently I've posed this very question to myself. You will never hear me complain about what life has thrown at me, but is that due to the acceptance that extravagant dreams are no longer a viable component of my journey? Excuse my language but fuck that, my socially "bad decisions" and mishaps are my favorite and most memorable situations. And almost always they are a derivative of some epiphany that prefaced the action (or in some cases, the lack thereof).
Some of us had children out of wedlock, or got married too early, etc. etc. Now, where is it written that once you've introduced such a profound and irreversible alteration in your life your "dreams" no longer factor into the path of your life. For one, my mother did this to me. Every decision I made/make equates to my lack of maternal instinct and inability as a mother. So now its inherent guilt that subconsciously makes me think twice when I'm "too happy". If I'm happy, its always at someone else's expense right? Yes, that sounds/looks silly when the words are given tangibility, so why then, do we allow this mentality to resonate in our own personal pursuit of euphoria?
In a sense, its common to strive for mediocrity. Especially as women, we feel the incessant desire to provide for someone else, whether a child, spouse, parent, friend, or hell a complete stranger with limitless inconsideration for how it places a definitive ceiling on our own growth and well-being. I've done all of the above, as most of you have I'm sure, but in all honestly, the ultimate ability to provide for any of these entities is ONLY derived from the internally and often ambiguous ability to look out for ourselves.
Back to basics for a minute. Take a woman who works her ass off to provide for her children as a single mother and make sure her children want for nothing. And look at the dad who stays with his overbearing wife working hard (watch Diary of Tired Black Man). As a society, we think "that's a worthy person" because we can assign tangible hardship to their journey. FF 15 years, the kids are grown, and have a fear of commitment etc. All because they've never witnessed what its like to simply pursue happiness. Ok PBS time is over but am I making a little more sense?
So regret is not something we have to eliminate, but let it be an opportunity to further our dreams and reach for something outrageously silly that will make those closest to us shake their heads and question our sanity. That's how we can best provide for them. Fuck them all, and only then can we learn to love them in ways we never could comprehend before. There it is. Good night and live it up!
P.S. if I was on a computer I would post Joss Stone-"Right to be wrong" check this isht out ASAP as possible...hehehe
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*Ghidorah Update*:
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Seductive Sirens
Ok, so we realize that a couple of you are thinking, "Aren't Sirens a female reference?" Yes, we are fully aware of this.
We have temporarily changed the look of the blog because we want to give some of our female followers an opportunity to trump our male perspective. Hopefully you are familiar with the Sirens spoken of in Greek mythology....if not, please stop and proceed to your nearest search engine.....or click HERE
Going forward, we will dedicate the last full week of each month to the ladies. Allow them to talk about whatever they wish. This not only allows us to view life and other things from a different perspective but it gives them an opportunity to talk to us and you in a direct but indirect way.
We have handpicked three wonderful young ladies for the first installment of the "Seductive Sirens" series...all intelligent, well-informed, gifted writers, and wise beyond their years. The series will officially begin tomorrow with Memorie, followed in succession by Katriesa, then Leslie.
We are excited to present this to you and hope you all enjoy our Sirens. We look forward to reading what they have to say. As always, we encourage you to participate in the topics that are touched on. We can all learn from each other. By all means start a dialogue or discussion if the spirit moves you!
Peace
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