My Brief Track Record

The other day, I get an email saying that I was tagged to a picture. One of my 4thgrade classmates posted a picture of our 4th grad class at the state capital. The first memory that came to my mind was recess time (I really want to give Mr. Lawry the credit for me wanting to run track). Before recess we would walk to the side of the building and Mr. Lawry would line up the class and he would race all of us to the edge of the building. I loved it. I loved racing.(Everyone remembers the foot races they use to have at the skating rink. I use to enjoy that more than actually skating). If you know what it feels like to do something better than everyone else, then you know how I felt when I destroyed everyone in my class. Rounding out elementary school and entering middle school was a little awkward for me. I didn’t think I fit in anywhere (the only place I felt I fit in for real was in the country at my grandmother’s house). I felt like no one paid me any attention. Felt like I was just drifting through my life. So in 7th grade I joined the outdoor track team (should have done indoor, but I was reluctant to join the team). I went out thinking that I was going to be the best athlete out there. I wasn’t. I seriously doubt anyone paid me any attention. I wasn’t a stand out runner. My dad helped with that. He had me up everyday running at least a mile, some days with dumbbells and ankle weights. He always wanted us to be the best that we could be. So the next year when I went out for the indoor team, I was not only stronger, but I was faster. Apparently I still wasn’t fast enough, so Coach Barnett pulled me over to the side and told me that I wasn’t going to be fast enough to hang with my other friends and wanted me to try hurdles. That day was the introduction to my new life. Running track became awesome. I would describe it like after Peter Parker was bitten by the spider and found out that he could do some pretty cool stuff. Track was my purpose, my confidence, my acceptance, my heart, my pain, my joy…. Track became my passion. I use to go to school feeling like a no body. I was another student in the halls. Once I found my niche in track, I didn’t care that I was ignored by everyone who thought they were better than me, because I was respected by the ones that knew what I was capable of. It was kind of funny.

I loved running. Track helped me accept my feelings and gave me an outlet to express them. Running helped clear my mind everyday. Sometimes it felt like I was running away from my past, but I was really running toward my future. Running gave me hope. I felt free from everything I struggled with. It was the greatest feeling in the world, even when I was completely out of breath and cramping up. When my muscles were so sore I thought I wouldn’t be able to walk the next day. It just helped me deal with a lot of things, mainly my aggression. I even thought I’d run forever, until I pulled my muscle and had to go through rehab. That was the first time that I felt vulnerable as a runner. I’m glad Ihad some good trainers; they helped me through that injury and kept me focused and encouraged.

Gevar and I talk about high school track all the time.Those were the best times of my life. The victories and defeats, the trips, the hard practices, everything about it was a great experience. When we go down memory lane, I find it funny how I felt more respected and accepted by guys from other schools than I did from most people at my own school. I was glad too, it kept me humble.

I was happy with running until I went to college. It was fun until I kept getting hurt. I think my first season waswhen I started to get depressed. It wasn’t the same anymore, I just felt like I was getting pushed out of my world, and I was. I spent every year worrying about who was going to come in and replace me. I had never thought like that before. I would think about the day when I got a phone call from the coach telling me that they didn’t need me anymore but I could still come out and practice. That day came too. They released me. The team replaced me with another runner. I guess I don’treally blame them. It’s about money anyway and I couldn’t put up the times they wanted. Why not? I would do the same to anyone if I was in charge. It just feels different when it’s you. When I left, no one cared anymore, I half expected them to, after all they were still doing what they enjoyed. I had finally woken up from my wonderful dream. I knew it would end one day, but I didn’t imagine it would end like it did. After I was released from the team I felt like I had to search for another means to feel like I existed. I wanted to find another purpose, but everything reminded me of track. Hell, the only reason I was at that school was because of track. I was laid off with no severance package. It was a terrible feeling. I just wanted to fill the void in my life, but what I chose to fill that void wasn’t something I was really dedicated to. Not like I was with running.

Eventually I didn’t even want to run anymore. Running made me think about track. Running wasn’t as relaxing as it use to be. I started to get moody and eventually it all started to go seriously bad. I came home for the summer and my dad encouraged me to get back to what I use to love to do. He believed that it would help my mentality. It had been a while since I got up at 5 and ran. That first day was TERRIBLE. I did take a complete year off. So it was hard. I toughed it out though. All the memories came back: the pain, the joy, the freedom, and the appreciation. I kept this up for about a month and I started to feel better about myself and everything around me. The last day that I actually ran or stepped foot on a track was 2 years ago, the day after an old teammate died. I don’t know why I don’t run anymore. It’s not because of his death. I think it’s come down to the fact that I have no desire to do what I loved to do anymore. One day though, one day soon, I’ll get up and relive those memories again and come to terms with the fact that Ican’t go back to the past. I can’t take back what I lost.But I can’t run toward that future. If it’s one thing I learned from running, it’s that I can’t do anything about what I did or didn’t do yesterday, but I can do my best today. Make your day today and stop putting off the things that you love because of the setbacks you experienced in life.Regret is never a good look

-VP

Bishop Eddie Long

With all the allegations against Eddie Long, we only thought it mildly appropriate and necessary to speak our mind on the issue that has been presented before us. Please feel free to comment and share your opinions as well.

VP I don't know why we continue to set ourselves up for these disappointments in life. You have to guard yourself at all times against things that just lead down dark roads in life. I'm not blaming the young men involved in the scandal, but if something doesn't feel right, chances are it isn't. I don't know how true the allegations against Bishop Long are, but the situation is not shaping out in his favor. He hasn't denied any of the allegations, but has denied the image that the "media" has branded him. As a representative of the Lord, these allegations shouldn't even be brought up. I heard one girl say, "They need to chill out on the issue cause everyone make mistakes." As true as this statement is, what Eddie long did was not a mistake. Mistakes are unintentional. Using your status and knowledge to sway young misguided men into performing sexual favors for you is beyond a mistake. We hold all our ministers and leaders to a certain standard of trust, that's because they are suppose to be (to a certain extent). Being human is not really an excuse that I accept either. Yes, we all fall short and bad decisions, but we need to own up to these mistakes and take responsibility for our decisions. We know when we are doing right from wrong. As a believer I have to look beyond his flaws, this should not be confused with giving him a free pass for his actions. I can't righteously throw stones at this man for what he did because I don't make the greatest moral decisions all the time myself (I can say that I would not do what he did). We try to measure which sin carries more weight than the other but sin is sin. Wrong is wrong. Doesn't matter how you spin it. You just have to deal with it, accept the consequences and move forward with your life. Allow yourself forgiveness. In saying all this, I do not believe it a wise decision for him to step down from his ministry due to public disgrace. One of our biggest mistakes in life is to condemn ourselves to the point where we stop doing the Lord's work (or for the non-believers, continue with our purpose in life). He was apparently called to ministry so he needs to continue to minister to the people. He should use this opportunity to connect more with his congregation and to face the demons of his alleged homosexuality and predator nature. Even God's chosen people had moral flaws and made bad decisions throughout the Bible: Moses let his anger get the best of him on more than one occasion; Jonah ran from his responsibility and threatened the lives of others; Samson was arrogant, which led to his downfall; David killed so he could have a man's wife, and so on. They still fulfilled the Lord's will. TO allow this man's struggle to push you away from the church and further challenge your faith would be a great mistake. Let this be a lesson to further educate yourself on your own faith and not allow someone to persuade into immorality through the Bible.

GB

This may sound bad to some, but I'm not shocked or surprised. I grew up involved in the church and was that kid who was there 3-4 nights out of the week for choir rehearsal, board meetings, etc.. Many of the pastors of the church were close to my family so I had the opportunity to witness their good and bad first hand. At an early age I came to terms with the fact that religious leaders were no more human than I was. I learned quickly not to put them on a pedestal because outside of the church, I couldn't tell much of a difference between them and my pops or my uncles. With that foundation, I learned to listen to the message they brought and accept them as a vessel, but it was always important for me to read the word for MYSELF and come to my own conclusions rather than completely relying on someone else's interpretation because of the person I perceived them to be...that never made sense to me. They are just as flawed as the rest of us.

Not to give our religious leaders a pass and not to bash them at all, but it just doesn't shock me if one of them messes up. We all fall short, stumble, even fall. If the allegations against Bishop Long are true, I think it's hypocritical to totally condemn him. He should be held accountable for his actions, but forgive that man. We are constantly forgiven, so who are we to throw stones and be unforgiving people? Stop with the speculation, the name calling, and the judgement of what kind of person you think he is and focus solely on what he (allegedly) did. (But the jokes are hysterical! Lol!) Hold people accountable for what they say/do, but never generalize a person's entire character off of one action. That makes YOU wrong and kills your whole argument because you're jumping the gun when you guess at things you can never truly prove.

*Example: I lie to you and you say to me, "You're a liar. I hate liars." ....So you've never told a lie? ...Oh you have? So by your own definition and logic, you're a liar too. So you hate yourself.....?

See? Makes it way too easy for someone to derail your argument VS. "You lied to me. I hate when people lie to me." That keeps the focus on what was actually done and puts the person in a position they can't duck out of. Stick with the facts versus making rash generalizations; it makes for more effective communication. We are in no position to place moral labels on other people. I don't care what you are. I care what you did.

For those using this situation as an excuse for their lack of (or loss of) faith, stop it. Your "faith" was flawed from the jump if this particular situation shakes it. One man's personal actions shouldn't drive you from your beliefs. Faith shouldn't lie in WHO you believe in, but rather WHAT you believe in...

Jrome:

I will not speak on religion or test anyones beliefs (cause i do not see it fair, or worth giving time to for people to argue about), what i will speak on is people.

Since the beginning of time we have always said dont judge one by his/her actions, yet we do it on a daily basis with anyone in any sort of spotlight. We as a people choose to tear down anyone who has more "shine" than ourselves. Wether it be in sports, church, hollywood, gov't. We never want to be judged for OUR actions but if they do it its wrong... TRICK PLEASE!!! No one is perfect and i doubt anyone in our life time will be. We choose to believe that "celebs" are perfect, why i have no idea. I see these people as someone who has a gift and they use it for their benefit. Micheal Vick is a really good (ion know bout great) football player but we judged him like krazy and still do to this day, T.I. is a good rapper (still cant say great) but he made a crappy choice, Bill Clinton was quite possibly the best president in the last 50yrs but he slipped (more than once).

Does that mean we are better than them? No. Just means they did wrong and should get what they deserve. Do i believe in killing animals? No. Do i believe in carrying guns? No. Do i believe in Adultery? No. Do i believe touching little kids is ok? No. should they all be punished? Yes. but if you hold them to a standard you dont hold yourself to then you are just as flawed as them if not more.

If Eddie Long did it send his azz to jail n tell him "have fun". If he didnt then he didnt, and if we never find out then he will get his just due. Is it right to make him guilty prior to finding out no, but if you judge this man what does that make you, what does that say about your belief system, and who gave you the right to say that anyone else should be punished when you dont know the details or facts (dont get it twisted im not defending it AT ALL). So i say to you before you place judgement on someone ask yourself this "Is it my place to judge someone?" We spend so much time judging others turn that mirror on yourself from time to time see if you should be judged. Or is that not Fair?

The Nice Guy/Good Girl Syndrome...

The other night i after talking to a friend she told me, "you really are a nice guy... wow", now i've always prided myself on breing a gentleman, being respect full and caring of those around me (especially females). Perhaps it was due to the fact that i was raised by such a strong and proud black woman, or because i saw the effect of "being a player" at such a young age, or maybe just because i was taught respect of people by my father. No matter what it was i have always cared for those close to me and showed them that not only in actions but words. Yet for a long time i went on being single while wanting that meaningful relationship with someone who i could spoil and be spoiled by, yet everytime i thought i was getting to that point i would notice that someone has hit a hard left on me n said "you are such a nice/good guy and thats y i like you" but that is where the potential ended. i was place behind the "bars of friendship" and wondering WTF happened between c-w when a-z was going so right. I continuously thought maybe im too nice, maybe im a push over, but quickly came to the sense that... no its because she likes "bad boys" and a majority of the time i was not wrong... i was usually dead on! They go from talking to me to a guy that is disrespectful and prolly cheatin on em (this has been the case with a good 75%). i never got mad at them or turned my back on them i just decided to chill out in tha friend zone and be just that, a good friend. Time and time again i ran into the same situation until i finally said "F**K IT!", i refuse to be the good guy. I instead chose to be the "Bad Boy" that women all seem to love... only to find myself not liking the idea 5 days into it and reverted back to being the only thing i could be... ME, real, blunt, caring, respectful, loving. Yea so i went through my fair share of having people attempt to walk ALL over me, possibly self inflicted, but why change what i admire about myself so much.

1.He isn't needy and clingy; wishy washy. He doesn't get pussy whipped. He wants that relationship with her, but he will also leave her at any time if she doesn't get rid of the attitude. He can take and leave them at any time. 2.He has no problem telling a beautiful woman to kiss his ass if she is acting like a bitch with an attitude, whether she is a stranger or not. 3.He doesn't do everything a woman asks him to do. She is not ALWAYS right. 4.He gives her hell once in a while, he tells her what he thinks when she does dumb things�but, he does it in moderation, and in a constructive way. 5.He makes his own decisions in his life. He is not indecisive. 6.He doesn't let people walk over him, even his boss. He will tell his abusive boss to shove it, and he will then go get another job, even if it means moving to another town or city. He is a confident, take-charge kind of a man, like a man should be.

Props to Perry Rose for this. Many of my close friends have been through the same, why because i surround myself with many of those respectful type of guys who actually care about others without having to force it. I also find myself with many of the "bad boy" types as well i guess it gives me views of what is good to be and what is not. If being called a good guy for us is a bad thing i guess its a path down the wrong road we will enjoy... in a sense i guess we're "BadBoys 4 Life" On the flipside females are expected to be the "good girl" but rarely do we give them credit for actually being that. I have a very close friend who i admire her in her quest to remain a virgin until marriage(yes 25 yrs and counting). Alot of times we dont hear the term "good girl" and truely believe that said person is a good girl. We tend to assume (buulshit) that its all a lie/game. How can there actually be a such thing as a good girl when you have soo many giving up out like balloons on free balloon day. Now to say she is a "good girl" doesnt have to mean she is a virgin but it is assumed that she would be to deserve such a title. I stay around what i consider "good girls" (not because of their virginity or lack there of but) because of the person they are and what they would/could bring to a relationship. Jay-Z said, "you can turn a bad girl good but once a good girl has gone bad she's gone forever". Honestly i cant complain with that, for the females who hear guys say i used to be a good guy, and for the guys who hear chicks say i used to be a good girl think about this... Most guys only need 1 girl to do them dirty for them to be the "Shadiest Player to ever walk this earth", most females go through 2-5 guys to do them wrong before they become the "Evil One". (please note if i get sniped for this... its cuz its true... niggas might get mad) Most if not all guys start out as "Good Guys" a.k.a. Hopeless Romantics just as much as girls tend to be caught in the marriage fantasy, Difference is most guys really do wear their heart on their sleeve for that 1st love/crush and depending on how that ends can effect their whole life. I know of some who were simply destroyed by their first major relationship and ever since then they become more and more of a player/hoe i dont condone it but i can understand the wall they put up but thats another blog and another subject that i will do later... Back to the matter at hand the "Nice Guy" and "Good Girl" syndrome is real to an extent. You just have to realize that you shouldnt let someone or some events change the person you are when you are happy that way... being the "bad boy/bad girl" my seem attractive but if you are true to yourself you will find that being you in the end is all that matters... dont change to be someone you are not and may begin to hate... Signing out, Jrome... (25 n still a good guy)

Home Sweet Home

First off, let me say that I am still a proud Raiders fan. We almost got the (punk a**) Cardinals, but on a freak accident Sebastian Janikowski missed a 32-yard kick in the last seconds.

DAMNIT!!!! *sigh* But we're looking promising this year. Anybody that has anything smart to say, come see me...

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Switching gears...

I've said this before, but for me, being laid off was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. Everything had always lined up so nicely for me.....graduated college in 4 years, started a great entry-level job literally 2 days after I graduated, got my own place a few months afterwards, AND I was able to move back to Birmingham to my comfort zone to achieve all this. I had parties/sets at my place almost weekly. Women whom I would normally have to jump through rings of fire for were attracted like magnets. Boxes and boxes of clothes/shoes/accessories showing up bi-weekly (I mostly shopped online). I was able to financially help out my friends/family without hesitation when they needed it. Expensive membership to Golds Gym to keep my body right and make me feel more healthy and good about myself in general. Most importantly, I was able to enjoy my success with the people I care for the most. Couldn't get any better, right?

Negative.

In August '08, THIS happened at the apartment complex I was living in....a few buildings away from mine. Some of you may remember it. I took the hint, and after talks with my parents, decided that it was the perfect opportunity for me to elevate further. December 31, 2008 I signed the papers for my first house. Cloud 9 is an understatement....I felt so blessed and it was completely surreal that I was a homeowner at 23. In '07, if someone would have told me I would be signing closing papers in '08 I would have asked for a blood sample and a urinalysis because they would have had to be high. Everything was perfect (as possible).....but I failed to account for variable change...

About 2 weeks before I was laid off, my dad planted some wisdom in me which will stay embedded forever... "Always prepare for the rain while the sun is still shining." I took it for what it was and respected it, but was still in my euphoric state. It was an eye-opener, but I still felt "Well this won't happen to me....not right now at least. I'll recognize the signs before it goes bad." Terribly wrong lol...

Months of relentless work were at hand. And, if they read this, I want to personally thank every person who supported me through it (whether they knew about my situation or not). J.O. and K.O., you didn't know what was going on with me, but being a part of your wedding did more for me than you two will ever know. It was refreshing to have a change of scenery, be aroundsome people I've known for a very long time, and witness something so pure. You two inspired me then and still continue to do so. Thank you.

I never fancied the idea of moving away from home but it both excited me and scared the heck out of me when I was presented with an opportunity in the DC area. There was nothing for me professionally in Alabama although most my personal ties were there. Tough situation to come to terms with..... I realized that I had grown so much yet so little. I've been here a little over a year and I've had some wins and losses, but as I sit here today, I am better physically, mentally, and emotionally than I was this time last year. I wouldn't change a thing and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to grow as I have. This is where I'm supposed to be and I'm happy to say that.

Home will ALWAYS be Hoover, AL. No matter where I am on the globe, I refuse to forget where I came from. That is my foundation.....everything after is by-product.

- GB

Lol....I had to do it. We all think we're sex symbols. Deal with it.