Needs vs. Wants

I've grown up admiring comic book superheroes. I read comics and watched plenty of television programs and movies with superheroes. I took it all in with fascination and excitement. I remember wondering why anyone would want to be a villain. Do villains just wake up and say they want everyone to hate them? I seriously doubt they do. But then again they are completely fabricated so they probably could. In many cases, villains and heroes are very similar. What really sets them is their understanding of wants and needs.

We are always having a constant battle with our wants and needs. Are needs are as basic as they come, nothing more and nothing less. Every time we want something it's always more than what we need. For instance, we need food, water and shelter. Food and water are needed for our basic survival and shelter is to protect us from unfavorable elements that could prove harmful to us. We don't need to eat steak everyday and drink beer and alcohol everyday but there are some people who want to. We don't need to smoke and drink, in fact consuming too much of either has proven to be deadly.... Actually consuming too much of anything is deadly. We do all these because we want to.

Wanting too much is selfish. We all know that selfish is thinking and caring only about your interest, your benefits, your WANTS, regardless of other people's wants and needs. Selfishness is probably one of the most common characteristic that make up a vast majority of villains. Its never ok to lose sight of the bigger picture. Our gifts are not meant for us to capitalize on. We all have a gift not just designed for us but one used to assist others. What good is a genius if he ne'er creates anything that can improve the effectiveness of the work force as a whole? What good is a surgeon if he doesn't save lives? What good is a doctor who can find a cure for a disease? Selfishness serves no one any person and eventually leads to people turning their backs on you.
On the other side of that, people need help all the time but you don't need to baby them. We do not need to sugar coat and save people from all of their problems. Saving people from all their problems is spoiling them. No one wants anything that has an expired self life. We need to step up and stand behind every decision we make. If it was a bad decision we need to find ways to fix it, if its that much of a screw up that we need to call for help that's fine. To use people as a crutch is ok if it's only temporary. I crutch was never designed to be a replacement for walking. Its a walking aid used to assist you until you gain the strength to walk on your own.

We all know some one who leans on people too much. It's ok to let that person go. Doesn't mean that you don't love them any less, but actually shows that you love them that much more cause you believe that they have the strength to tackle their own problems. At the end of the day they should have more confidence in themselves and not animosity toward you for allowing them to find their way out. The only reason they get upset with you is because they failed to see the strain they were placing on you, that's because they couldn't see beyond what they wanted. You being there for them and still being concerned about their well being is proof enough that you care whether they realize it or not. Tough love is still love. When did love mean giving someone everything they wanted?

Needs are pure. They are the basic essentials they we have to have for survival and interaction. Wants can be tainted, they aren't always pure and we will never go not wanting. For the most part we are satisfied because we took care of a need. We can always go beyond that though. Sometimes with disastrous results due to our selfishness. One of the reason why we need to walk in love.

I'm going to leave you with two thoughts that I heard yesterday:
God works IN us so that he can do something THROUGH us. God's grace doesn't just end with you. There is no end to God's grace.

Don't trust your own discernment if you are not operating in love.

You Know I Keep That White Girl... AYE!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SNAP!!! I guess its about time to try n ruffle some feathers....... so what better topic than the infamous Interracial Dating topic... cause we all have feelings views and opinions or what is right/wrong/otherwise.... so let git it crackin!!!

I hear people on both sides of the fence say why they would/wouldn't date out of their race. I've heard parties make extremely valid points as why they (specificly) would/wouldn't. I've heard valid points of the struggle of relationships and the added struggle of an interracial relationship. There's the constant dirty looks, questions, and misconceptions of the relationship. There is even the battle with family and friends over the relationships. My question is and will always be, what is the cost of being happy?

You can look down on an interracial relationship because it's not how you were raised and it may not be something you completely understand. It could be the thought of, "how will my family see this?", "What will we have to endure around our friends?", "What trouble could this cause when we go out?", "If we have children how will it affect them?" Yet you can also see the light in the situation, "I really love this person!", "Our families support us reguardless.", "Our kids can benefit from learning both backgrounds.", "Who Cares what everyone else thinks aslong as we care for each other."

Too often we worry so much about what everyone else is doing we forget to ask, "are they happy?" I have been around interracial relationships since i was little, so my introduction was somewhat of a good one. Although, I had many people around me that weren't FOND of the idea yet, they accepted it because the couple was happy. My views on the topic are not solely from an outsider as well i have been in a relationship with someone out of my race. Yet, In a day and age when "race" is mainly decided by skin color who can really say that they are/aren't dating outside their race? If i trace down my ancestors im sure there may be a few "suprises" along the way but i know in general terms i am a "Mutt"(African, Caucasian, Native, French) lol. Honestly how many of you are MUTT? (do research i'll wait)......

I've had many male friends say, "man i wont every mess with a white girl!" Only to have a change of mind (days, weeks, months, years) later to come back and say, "man i dont know why i never did!" Not to say if you have never, "gone white you not doing right", but to say never limit your options. Its a big world with alot of people there is no reason to think the people within a 50 mile radius are the only ones that you can talk to. Sometime you have to venture out to find happiness. We say, "Sky's the limit", yet for some reason we tend to limit who we can/can't date who we will/won't marry because of race.

(Stepping off soap box for a min): I'm not trying to change your mind on who you will and won't date just trying to change your view of how you look at those who do... now...

(Stepping back up on soapbox): Let's get back to it...

I have seen many couples make it past the, "dating", phase and proud of my little sis who has and is still happily married and with a child. I think there is a major misconception that it is only dating or only rich/famous black men date interracially when it's so far beyond that. For decades there have been interracial marriages and relationships and you would think by now we would be alot more accepting of people finding happiness. Who are we to judge someone who has found happiness?

YET........ there are those who feel like, "i only date (_ given race and sex _)", that i can understand people looking at with the side eye not because they are wrong but they possibly have a prejudice of those they "won't" date. I don't mind someone saying they are only attracted to their race when thats all they know, but when you down your own race thats when I mind. I have known a few famles/males of all races that feel that their race of men/women is not... hmm.... "adequate" for them to date. Which makes me wonder if they themselves feel they are adequate or are they taking a step down to date outside their race? Not to say that they are stepping down but what is their feeling of their race of men/women? True you could have had some bad relationships with a certain race but that doesnt mean all will be bad. (STOP... thats another blog)

We have come too far on this journey for equality to stop ourselves from looking at people for who they are, as opposed to what they are. Sadly we still judge people for the same prejudices they had decades before our generations. They fought for equal rights and we fight because, "why he gotta be with that white bitch?" Today is a day of acceptance, if he/she is not with you because they are with someone out of their race be happy that they are happy. Not everything is meant to be and if its not then be happy for that other person and find your own happiness wether it be in or out of your race. Don't worry so much about everybody else's life and decisions when you can only affect and change your own.

Life is short find your happiness.

side note: i could go in SOO much harder but yall aint ready...

Mr. I'ma Get Sniped!