Independent Women Vs. The Old Fashioned Ladies

You, the man, are standing in the club ready to make your pick. The DJ asks, "Ladies, if you're independent put your hands up." You look around the club to see what looks like thousands of hands raised. But is that what really turns you on?

The modern woman, with the encouragement of Destiny's Child and a "Anything-You-Can-Do-I-Can-Do-Better" mentality, strive to be a man's equal in every way. We want the same jobs, to drive the same cars, play the same role in relationships????

I too believe women are capable of pretty much anything a man is, but I feel there is a time and place for everything. In my opinion, part of what makes a woman attractive, in addition to her physical exterior, is a level of respect for a man's role. You can be successful like Oprah, brighter than the North Star and make "Arab Money," but that is not intimidating to men, rather, it is unattractive if you don't know when to turn it off and let the man be your protector and provider.

I hear women complain about how immature men are, but if you are trying to play the role of his mother, and not his partner, what do you expect him to be?

I'm neither advocating for excessive male dominance, nor for the expectations of the docile woman, I just believe men need an opportunity to "do them." I don't think you will lose yourself entirely, you won't lose any self-respect or dignity, you won't lose any of the success you have earned by being a woman. By being a man's complimentary counterpart, rather than his combative competition.

Guys, am I right?
Ladies, do you agree? Do you disagree?


- Lauren
http://www.thebobbypen.com/

Is Chivalry Dead???

If chivalry is dead, who killed it? I was listening to an old school song entitled "Treat her like a lady" it made me think what happened to that man? One who would help a lady with her coat, open a door or pull out a chair. Chivalry is defined as a medieval system of principles, and customs that idealize a knight such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry towards women. Chivalry is also defined as a gallant gentlemen. In my current observation I find that courtesy and honor appear to be obsolete.Values and principles have been tossed out. Values and principles are learned behaviors .I tell my clients all the time if you do not know what you value . I don't know how to treat you. If you don't have values you can't possible have expectations. Being that values are learned I often wonder which generation discontinued the lesson or just skipped school that day. In a relationship men want to be treated like men and Women want and to be treated like a women. However before anyone can treat you as you deserve to be treated you must act accordingly. Men should be Men. If you don't know what a real man is find one to learn from. Women should be women ,again if you don't know what that is, find a real woman to learn from. Chilvary is not dead. As women we must understand that our independence can be both a gift and a curse. Its good to not depend on anyone. However its also good to allow someone to care for you. Allow him to open the door, hold the umbrella, help you with your coat,pull out the chair and initiate first contact. It's OK, it doesn't make you weak. Ladies for someone to treat you like a lady you must act accordingly. If you allow certain things and don't communicate that you need certain things you will not receive anything. Men you must step up and reclaim your position.A position of honor, bravery and gallantry. Both women and men must have clearly defined values and expectations. Again if you don't expected anything you will not receive anything. Chivalry will die if we don't nurture it. Don't allow her independent nature or strong personality scare you off. Treat her like a lady. Ladies allow a man to be a man.He can't be brave if you are jumping out ahead of him wearing the protective amour. No man wants a "hard,thugged out chick". Good girls win in the end! Chilvary is not dead but it's lingering on life support. Just my thoughts!!!

Misconceptions of Judging in Christianity

I have observed that when the topic of judgment is brought up from a biblical standpoint, people usually lean towards two extremes. One of those extremes being that judging is strictly prohibited within Christianity. The other being that it is the duty of believers to rebuke other fellow Christians and spread the gospel. While there is truth to both of these views, balance is such a vital necessity! 

 

Getting too comfy with either of these perspectives can become extremely toxic to our growth with Christ. Shouting out defensively "Only God can judge me!" whenever someone offers some constructive or valid criticism is ignorant.


While the mentality of no judgement would suggest that we should remain in total silence as we watch our loved ones head down the road to destruction. Well, that's pretty painful! Kind of reminds me of watching a character in a horror movie go back into the house while the audience yells at the screen in vain! 


Is that what God is really saying through His Word? I think that a lot of times, whether consciously or not, we tend to focus on one part that we like instead of stepping back to look at The Word of God in it's entirety. Or perhaps we just know some isolated verses from hearsay and/or tradition? Which leaves the door wide open for scriptures to be misinterpreted, not to mention completely taken out of context! 


Many are familiar with Jesus teaching that "He who is without sin cast the first stone." He was saving a woman from being persecuted and after He made that thought-provoking statement, her accusers left. Christ told her to go and sin no more. Was Jesus saying never to have an opinion or a voice as one of His followers? No. But He is saying and demonstrating not to persecute sinners! Reflect, empathize and show mercy to others instead. These actions better illustrate the love of God.  

"It is better to have eyes for beauty – than for blemish. It is better to be able to see the rose – than the thorns. It is better to have learned to look for things to commend in others – than for things to condemn. Of course other people have faults – and we are not blind. But then we have faults of our own – and this should make us charitable."

J.R. Miller Judging Others, 1894.

In Proverbs you will find many verses on taking advice as well as criticism. Chapter thirteen it reads, "Pride leads to conflict;those who take advice are wise". Two chapters over reads, "If you listen to constructive criticism,you will be at home among the wise." Throughout the bible, it is evident that words of wisdom and even rebukes are favored as long as they are handled integrity, humility and love. (Daniel 4:27, 1 Corinthians 5, Galatians 6:1-3)  On the other end of the spectrum, a lot of Christians in their misdirected zeal become "micro-managers" when it comes to correcting others. It's ridiculous and manipulative to pick someone apart regarding every little thing! Apostle Paul brought this issue to attention in Romans 14...


"Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently."


The same Paul rebuked a member of the church for having sexual relations with his stepmother in 1 Corinthians 5. Was he contradicting himself? I don't think so. Paul is saying to pick your battles! You don't have to smile and nod at  destructive behavior that jeopardizes someone's salvation. But to argue over who eats shrimp* and who doesn't is just really a waste of time and could easily discourage someone in their walk. Besides, God doesn't need us playing "holy ghost patrol" all the time. Relaxxx! And if you're truly concerned about something that minor, give it to God and trust that His will is done!


[Christians are] not to be hasty in making negative judgments on their fellows. It is a dangerous procedure because it invites a similar judgment in return. And it is a difficult procedure because our own faults make it hard for us to see precisely what is amiss in our fellows. Jesus is not, of course, forbidding all judgments; He is warning against the hasty condemnations that are so easy to make, and so characteristic of the human race.

Leon Morris

Matthew, Eerdmans, 1992, p. 164.

We also must be careful of making "final" judgments of character. Making statements like "He'll never amount to anything..." or "She's going to hell!" is putting ourselves in the place of the Author when our role is the character. We don't know how the story will end for an individual... and it's not our job to! There was a warning about this type of self-righteousness in James chapter 4.

So, I'm rapping it up ladies and gents! Just want to stress again that balance is the key! And when we sincerely search the word for understanding, we find that it's there. Thanks for hanging with me on this one! And a special thank you to the men of Ghidorah3 (Vaughn, Gev, & Jrome) for having me as a siren! =) I would also like to thank my hubbz for letting me hog the computer! 

With sincere love,


Your Friend Kimmy


 


SHALOM!!!












*Eating sea creatures was forbidden in the law of Moses Lev. 11:9-12, but when Jesus came we were freed from the law Rom. 12 and we could live in the fruits of the spirit Gal. 5:19-23 from then on.