I’ve endured my fair share of jokes about not getting any, but I don’t care. People are always going to have jokes, but I want more from my life and my relationships. SO here I am explaining it. Thought I’d share some of my revelations (some of which I’ve already known, but am trying to apply). SO please keep in mind that what I’m writing is all my opinion, this is what I feel at the current moment and is due to change, provided more evidence changes my viewpoints.
To me sex has been overly hyped and just like everything else, when taken out of context can be inappropriate and lead to confusion. (If you haven’t read Gevar’s post please read it http://ghidorah3.blogspot.com/2011/02/sex-smorgasbord.html). Sex is everywhere; it’s basically a constant thought in our minds. From church to the clubs, and I’m a little tired of it. Every time I go out I seem to see the same thing. Females showing more skin or curves (and rolls and bumps) for attention, YET they don’t want to be bothered. Jrome (one of the creators) brought up a good point a while back, females dress for each other when they go out, they don’t dress for the attention of guys, they dress to compete with each other… but that’s another topic that he can talk about. My point is men are not the only ones that use sex for their own gains or think about it all the time. I just got tired of it, so I started to evaluate my thought process and relationships. In order to move forward with some things you have to glance back. So I had to look back on my past relationships, experiences and even on other people’s situations. To me sex was/is an act of love. It’s the closest you can physically get to someone. Sex is a fusion that should be reserved for two people who love, care and respect each other. Basically, sex should be reserved for married people ( in the grand scheme of things, but of course the institution of marriage has been taking some heavy hits for the people that don’t respect it, care for it or understand it). Let me rephrase that (we live in messed up times), Sex should be reserved for two people who are under a marriage contract and it should be performed with the two people under the said contract with each other.
The reason sex complicates things is because in certain situations it is inappropriate. It gives an illusion of feeling when there really wasn’t any to begin with, not the feeling that you were hoping for at least. Women claim that men know how to “detach” themselves from sex; the truth is we never had feelings in the first place. There was no attachment to begin with. You can’t honestly tell me that you “love” a dude after the short period of time it took for him to meet you, get your number, “play the game” and then you two have sex…. If women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex, then we are all misguided. However, according to this statement men have the better idea than women do because love comes before sex. So, according to the statement, this is the reason why women have so many relationship failures, you are giving the want before the need…This can all lead back to my post http://ghidorah3.blogspot.com/2011/01/needs-vs-wants.html, we need companionship (love) but we want sex, then we confuse the two. Every sex act has a degree of emotion and affection associated with it. Is sex love? No it’s not. Sex is an act of love. Giving and receiving at a more filthy yet compassionate level. Love can exist without sex and therefore sex can exist without love. What many people (stereotypically women) fail to realize is that sex is an action, and every action has a motive. The motive may or may not include your best interest. Someone having sex with you doesn’t mean that they love you; they may just enjoy sex without caring anything about you.
I’ve seen too many relationships fail because sex was incorporated too early or given more importance than the relationship itself. It makes no sense why sex is so important in a relationship. Why should sex be a means to begin, stay in or end a relationship? Let’s look at this from a logical viewpoint. I’ll give sex an hour out of the day. There are 7 days in a week. So, there are 168 hours in a week and if you have sex every single day, that’s 7 hours a week devoted to sex. You still have 161 hours left to put up with each other (now for the technically picky people, I know that your week is full of activities that take up the remainder of the 161 hours, but let’s just say none of us have jobs or anything else to do). If you find that the only things you enjoy in your relationship are those 7 hours, then something is wrong with you. You are telling me that 7 hours or pleasure are enough to put up with 161 hours of confusion, drama and misery? Give me 161 hours of happiness, understanding and love any time. Those 161 hours are way more important to me than 7 hours of deceit. I don’t ever want to lose sight of real love again. I don’t want to fool myself into making something work when I know that it was never meant to be what it is.
Check out part 2
http://ghidorah3.blogspot.com/2011/02/no-sex-my-reevaluation-of-relationships_02.html
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