Who Am I? Who Are YOU???

The group post this week should be an informative one for our viewers. We'll call it the "profile"....a list of completely random questions that we will all answer to give you a better understanding of who we are individually and what we are about. Feel free to participate and answer these questions for yourself. It all begins with self-undersanding! We hope you enjoy!

State your name, occupation, and where you reside:

G: Gevar, flyest nerd you know, DMV by way of B'ham, AL.
V: Vaughn, Accounting Operational Support Specialist (I'm really a dreamer and a gamer). Birmingham, AL is where I kick it
J: Jerome(Brandon), Jack of All Trades, B'ham, Al.

How do you start your day?

G: I wake up around 5:30 or 6, use the bathroom, fool around on the internet for 45 mins - 1 hour while I eat, shower and dress to music or a movie, leave by 7:45 to face the day.
V: I have my alarm set to 4:30 every morning. Upon first waking up I stare at the ceiling and think and appreciate the things that I have around me. Sometimes I actually get up and excerise a little other times I end up going back to sleep. Before I leave every morning I try to make myself smile in the mirror, that way I start each day with on a positive note.
J: Up at 3 or 4 am, bafroom break, turn on MTV Jams while getting dressed, grab a snack to eat, out by within an hour to face the days SLAVERY!

What is your drink of choice?

G: Snapple Mango Green Tea or Water; alcoholic: Conjure (RIP Hennessey)
V: Topicana Orange Juice and water, or a nice blended fresh lemonade. Alcoholic: Maker's Mark
J: Water or Any kind of lemonade, Coholic: Rome Grown (cuz i murder anything you think you can make BETTER!)

Where is your favorite place to eat a meal?

G: Right now....Noodles & Company. And anywhere that serves calamari.
V: I'm not really that picky but my favorite places to eat generally involve my family. So my favorite place to eat is at my parents house, in the kitchen. My second favorite place to eat is at my grandmother's house. I will never grow tired of eating in those places
J: Favorite place would prolly be anywhere with good people(friends/family) around me.

What was the last movie you've seen?


G: "Tears of the Sun" ....came out like 7 years ago but I'm just now seeing it. Really good movie.
V: Crazy Heart... this is a really great movie and Jeff Bridges (Academy Award winner for best actor 2010) gave an outstanding performance. The soundtrack is really solid too...
J: "The Blindside"... and suprisingly enough liked it more than i thought i would... glad i saw it


What's the last book you read?

G: CompTia Security+ Study Guide. So ready to get this test out of the way...
V: The Bible, which I am still studying... last bbok I finished reading was The Conversation by Hill Harper and I'm in the middle of a Tony Dungy book.
J: Tupac's The Rose That Grew From Concrete... still read it almost daily

Quote a song or a poem:

G: Fat titties turn to teardrops as fat ass turns to flab Sores that were open wounds eventually turn to scab Trees bright and green turn yellow-brown, autumn caught 'em See, all them leaves must fall down, growing old... - "Growing Old", Outkast

V: I look in your eye and I see the pain in it
Life's a game, huh, maybe the game did it
I know I changed, they say that fame did it
Life is changed, huh, maybe the game did it
Two friends, now in two different places
I'm "Mr. Catchin' Planes" and you catchin' cases
Friendship, we never based it on position
No matter the game, we both shared the same vision
Decisions to split us in the place that life seemed to hit us
I would come to town and never get up with you
Around then things weren't so simple
I had my own issues that I was trying' to get through
Outside chatter, messin' with our mental
on the chase for funds to trusts, you can't forget too
It's the real friends that you got to tend to
No matter how far, you'll just know that I'm with you
(Common, from  "Decision" by Busta, Jamie Foxx, Mary J. Blige, and John Legend

J: Had to get back to me, get back to mines

Get back to fam, get back to rhymes

Lay down at night and say without shame

Today I was a man, tomorrow I'll be the same

Be a bonfire when others are just a flame

Be a memory when others are just a name.. (Phonte-Little Brother - When Everything Is New)

Who would you cast in your dream concert lineup?

G: Marvin Gaye, Anita Baker, OutKast, Miles Davis, Esthero, Nas, Little Brother

V: Kanye West, Common, N.E.R.D., Tank, Lupe Fiasco, OutKast, Dwele

J: Tupac, Jill Scott, Marvin Gaye, Little Brother, Musiq, Floetry, OutKast (In that order too lol)

At home, what do you keep beside your bed?

G: Wallet, cell phones, keys, watches, bottles of whatever I was drinking before I fell asleep

V: Alarm Clock, notepad, black pen, blue pen, glasses, remote control, iPhone (usually playing songs)

J: Cell phone, pen & pad, juice/water, remote

What city would you adopt as your second home?

G: I haven't visited a lot of cities so this may change in the future, but right now, VA Beach or Austin, TX.

V: I really like L.A. and Miami... Proabably L.A. cause its really laid back (the area I always visit)

J: Ft. Lauderdale, Fl or sumwhere in Hawaii (love it there)

Why do people lie?

G: Fear. Fear of the truth. Fear of being judged/disliked/looked at differently. Fear of misunderstanding or unacceptance. Fear of conflict.

V: Fear and shame. I don't think people lie to protect others, they lie to protect themselves from shame. We are always aware when we are not doing something right (at least we have a small sense of awareness)

J: Bitch-Ass-Ness...................................... or what they said.... samething

What do you regret?


G: I guess the "correct" thing to say would be "nothing, because *blah* *blah* *blah*" but truth be told we all have regrets. Mine would be not mapping out a career plan sooner than I did. I also regret the way I chose to handle some situations in the past, but I've forgiven myself and all is well now. Life is grand :-)
V: I tend to regret things I really had no control over, like not finishing out my senior year in track due to injury from the previous years.... I was a hard worker too. I do wish that I would have not pledged though. That was a waste of my time and energy and a distraction from my goals. That was a difficult time in my life though and I put my concentration into the wrong thing. Not that anything is wrong with pledging its just that it wasn't something I should have involved myself in at that time. I had some fun times though.
J: Not fully persuing music when i should have, and not diving fully into my "dreams". But im happy never-the-less

Tell me 5 names stored in your phone:

G: *Random scroll* - Abdul, Wachovia, Mom, BK, Mee-Moe

V: Momma, Dad, Je'Vana, Jason, Brandon King

J: Mama Dukes, G, Vp, Shay, Bk

What do you do with the clothes you no longer wear?

G: Leave them in my closet....lol I really should donate more often. Haven't done it in a couple of years. Moms raised me better than that..
V: I give them away when I can, I don't like keeping clothes with me that I don't wear. I try to wear everything in my closet and drawers. I will wear any Chirstmas present given to me.
J: Goodwill, Hannah Home... donate somehow. Or give my shirts to mama dukes she got damn near a whole closet of my old shirts....

If you could spend the day with anyone, who would it be?

G: My grandfather who passed when I was 2. 
V: My parents... my dad, if its one person. We talk about lots of stuff and he gives good advice and motivates me.
J: My Brothers... the time we share now days is priceless, B'ham, Savannah, Ft. Lauderdale.... still too far apart

Can you cook?


G: I can do enough. I can't "throw down" but you'll be satisfied, not hungry, and not throwing up once I'm done. I know my cohorts are about to brag their a**es off so get ready...smh.
V: I don't like to brag but I can cook. I like to experiment and try new dishes. I think cook is as simple as being able to read and comprehend what you read, or just have a taste for what you like and the ability to put it together and make it taste good. Ask Gevar if I can cook.
J: DAH FUCK... really ask me this? shid yall gonna make me write a cooking blog wit pics of my fiy fiy cooking...

Who was the last person you cooked for?


G: My lady.
V: My brother
J: Mama Dukes... she know what it is

How do you know when you're in love?


G: When what you feel defies explanation and you don't feel obligated to explain it because it makes sense to you. You just know.
V: When I stop concerning myself with the things that i want and want to do the best for her. But apparently I don't know if that was really love or not
J: When i can think about her and smile no matter how i felt before

Where is your favorite place to go to be alone?


G: A few places: my office (need a code to get in), driving around aimlessly, and of course the crib. No place like home.
V: at home in my bedroom. Many years ago it use to be the track early on a saturday morning.
J: at night on the front hood of my car looking at the stars... dont get more peaceful than that

What is your purpose?


G: To gain as much knowledge, wisdom, and understanding as possible in my own life so that I can help guide the next generation while doing what I can now to make it better for them. Long way to go...
V: I don't know right now. I want to lead and manage. I've always been placed in leadership situations and positions and I handle situations well. I have a level head when it comes to problem solving.
J: In my eyes... to make my mother proud and to be able to leave a legacy that my children can respect.

When is the perfect time to say goodbye?


G: I hate goodbyes....It's not always about giving up; sometimes it's just best to let go. But even then I don't believe a "goodbye" is necessary....it's too final and absolute for me. I don't like to burn my bridges or accept that I will never see someone again. We never truly mean it when we say it...I know I don't.
V: Good byes are hard to me, but I'm learning to accept their purpose. Depends on which "good bye" you are refering to. Really you should make every moment worth it. I try to take advantage of the opportunities I have with my friends and family. Be patient and enjoy each moment, even if it isn't the best moment
J: Never liked goodbyes and i usually try to avoid them, some you cant but just because something has ended doesnt mean its good bye just a... see you later than normal.

How do you sleep at night?


G: On my side or my stomach...and I sleep rather well.
V: on my back or in some fetal postition... I'm not a mover or restless sleeper. 
J: i toss and turn (back injury) can't stay in one spot too long

Who is your hometown hero?


G: My parents.
V: Parents
J: My Mama Dukes... strong enough to raise 3 men on her own.... who's stronger?

What is in your pockets?


G: *feels pockets* Nothing right now.
V: Security badge, a pen, wallet

J: Lighter, Wallet, Money


What do you think of when you hear the word "sword"?


G: Power, death, life, violence, security.
V: Power, respect, skill, violence, responsibility, death
J: 300.... what you asked what i think of that was it... they just described it lol

How would you like to be remembered? 


G: A man who always stayed true to who he was while at the same time embracing change and growth within himself and others. A true friend who never hesitated to help in any way he could.
V: Not too long ago I just wanted to be remembered. I wanted to be remember as someone who was alwasy there for the people that are close to me and lended a helping hand when I could. Someone who wanted to be better each day. An understanding person who stood his ground in the midst of adversity

J: As a trusted friend, a great little brother (big brother to some), a loving son/uncle, the worlds best dad, and a husband who cant be matched....

oh and the Realest Equal Opportunity Rascist you have ever met....

Forgive Me.... Please???

We were all born with the gift of free choice. We can basically make any decision we want in life. It our freedom. Given that you have to make a decision implies that you have more than one choice to make. This in itself leaves room for error. Which means that we are all going to make a bad decision. Seeing that we don't purposely make bad decisions means that we make mistakes. So since everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect. No one is over some one and no one is technically better than someone. At least to some extent or another. Now I know that we aren't all equal in morality and some people are not as morally conscious as others. I'm not talking about the evil people in the world. I'm talking about the "regular people" or morally stable people, if you will. Everyone slips up from time to time and the most common practice is to forgive them. Is anyone or any action above forgiveness? I don't think so. We may feel like we can't forgive people or their actions but why not? I actually think about "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I know I make mistakes I don't mean to, they just happen and for various reasons. When I make mistakes I want people to forgive me. I don't want people being mad at me cause I wronged them on accident and I don't want them mad at me cause I wronged them on purpose. I feel like if I can forgive myself for my actions then so should you. If I cant forgive myself for my actions then you should forgive me and bring me to the light. Everyone wants to play the victim and hold some grudge over people for too long. People enjoy being miserable. The most common miserable practice that I witness involves relationships. People aren't completely honest all the time. Because of this some people lie and cheat. I don't justify cheating but at some point you have to let it go. Yes you were hurt and you were wronged but let it go and move on. Stop trying to carry the hurt with you everywhere you go and applying it to the people you meet. Allow yourself to forgive so that you can be a stronger person. Forgiveness doesn't give people a free pass to do whatever they want without any consequence either. It really allows you to find peace without compromising your moral integrity. I look at Black people today and it's kind of bad. We have not forgiven white people for all the things that have happened throughout history and at the same time we haven't really moved on either. We do the most harmful things to each other and make excuses for why we do it. The drugs and violence are unnecessary, yet we constantly participate in it. That is no way to a better life and blaming people for why you stooped so low is not the answer. When it comes down to it, we have all been given an opportunity to further our advancement in this world in a wide range of activities and venues, we make decision not to capitalize on those opportunities. We need to stop playing the victim and own up to our actions and learn to forgive and move on So make a decision today. Are you going to blame other people for your actions? Blame people for why YOU can't love? Why YOU can't succeed? Blame people for why YOU break the law? It all comes back to YOU in the end. So just move on. One up someone by succeeding in life the way you were meant to and not in a way were you envision yourself standing over them, while they sulk in failure. Be happy with things that mean something. Appreciate the ones around you that want you to succeed cause they want you to be happy

Once A Cheater!... Always A Cheater?

Since we were little and thought that being called a cheater was simply a sports or school test thing, we've heard that famous quote "Once a cheater, Always a cheater!" My brothers used to say it on the regular. So when i played sports i never cheated and never wanted to be cheated. In my eyes it was the closest thing to killing a person, cause i was that competitive, without completely knowing what way it was being used. When i heard females say it for the first time, usually the girls around my brothers and their friends, my first thought was, "what game/test did you cheat and why?" I guess you can say i looked at it as the, "Bitch Move", of the time. So wheen i grew and began to see what my brother's female friends were referring to then it hit me... "OOOOOOOOOH, you meant THAT.... yea". Still the thought of it being a "Bitch Move" never left my mind. To this day i'm 100% cheat free, though i have been cheated on (which baffles the hell outta me). So i will share with you some of my thoughts on the Cheater and Cheat.... ie(?) lol I have heard people try to give reasons for cheating. I have heard people give reasons of why they were cheated on. I have even heard reasons of why talking someone else into cheating is ok and not "my" fault. Yet still the action and the thought process for it is crazy and to this day i still dont understand a few things like:

• Why try to go back to someone you cheated on?
• Why cheat when you dont want that person in any other way?
• Was it worth losing something "worth while"?
• Did you really think no one would get hurt?
• If you "love" the person you're with what was it that allowed you to cheat?
• Why take them back if they cheated?
• If you dont want to be cheated on why cheat?
• Why help them cheat if you dont want them?
• Do you really want to be with someone who cheated?

(Again those are just a few) I have had many talks with friends, family, and Co-Workers just to see what they might say. Anyone that knows me knows i have always said, "if im/shes going to cheat i dont care if im/you butt nekkid in bed and its about to go down just pick up the phone and call and say 'look it's over', WRAP!!!" Still most people look at me KRAZY like "man please no you wouldnt you would beat it up then try n lie your way out". Sorry. Nigga. No. I have a tad bit more respect for the relationships i have been in no matter how bad the may have been (thinks back........ sigh....fuck it) and no matter how it ended i refused to cheat, although i have been tempted. But temptation is something you can fight off. as a matter a fact the best way to fight it off..... pay attention...... say.......... NO!!!

Do i believe that Once a cheater always a cheater... no, BUT, that doesnt mean it isnt likely to happen again. Sadly i see this as a problem with those who have been cheated on multiple times. Most females go through an average of 2-5 relationships where they have been cheated on, Guys usually 1-3. Why are the guys numbers so low, simple because we are expected to be tough, rugged, hard, so it makes it look kinda crazy to see a man crying over every girl that has cheated him. Problem is with it only taking 1-3 women to turn a man into a "Dog", like so many claim we all are, it takes almost double for females because they want to give it a chance or they think "i can change him" which usually only ends in more heart ache. Wether you cheat or become the "accomplice" to cheating you are just making the cycle that much worse. I've talked to one of the ones that cheated on me and it was explained to me that they "didn't know how to say they didnt want to be with me"..... DAH FUCK you just did. Too often we try to find ways of saying it after the fact. You dont have to go to the extreme of cheating to not want to be with someone. I mean really would you burn you parents house down just to say "i want to move out."? Common sense says if you're about to do something wrong you have two options 1. DON'T DO IT 2. Make sure it wont be wrong it you decide to do it(a.k.a. break-up)

Once a cheater!... Always a cheater? Nah just depends on if you are willing to change for that special person. For those who have been cheated it's all on how you let it affect your life, its a make or break thing. You can use it to grow and enjoy the next one completely or you can let it break you down and become someone you never thought you could be... a "Bitch Move"-er lol...

Movie Reviews October 15-18

It's Kind Of A Funny Story

Grade: B+



Craig Gilber (performed by Keir Gilchrist) has a rather disturbing dream of him climbing a bridge so that he can commit suicide. Upon waking up from the dream he checks himself into Argenon Hospital and is admitted to the youth psychiatric ward of the hospital by a psychiatrist. Due to the fact that the youth ward is temporarily closed so he is admitted to the adult ward and has to stay a minimum of 5 days. While in the ward he meets and befriends Bobby (Zach Galifianakis) and forms a crush on Noelle (Emma Roberts), and Craig also learns to overcome his anxiety about the pressures of life, growing up and love.

Zach Galifianakis was really good in this movie. I didn't expect him not to be either. I know that Galifianakis is a funny an awkward comedian but I don't think his screen presence demanded a roar of laughter, especially not in this movie. His ability to play characters that are not easily understood or accepted is really great to me and I appreciate the fact that he could have been the entire center of the movie but he wasn't. His character, Bobby, not only taught Craig to relax and embrace life in just 5 days but he also learned to embrace what he had as well.
This movie really appealed to me because I associated with both Bobby and Craig. The pressures of the world can get to use sometimes but through friendship and understanding we can overcome them.

This is a really delightful movie that I'm sure you can appreciate.

-VP

RED

Grade: B



This movie is based on a DC Comics graphic novel. It stars Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, and Helen Mirren in an action comedy about former CIA agents who are involved in a huge cover up.

Frank (Willis) was one of the best and after being involved in an assault seeks help from the CIA's top agents (Freeman, Malkovich, and Mirren), who happen to all be in retirement as he is, to find out who is targeting them and why.

I wanted to see RED for some time now. I was not disappointed with the movie at all. It probably could have been better but I was satisfied with the outcome.
John Malkovich's character, Marvin, was pretty funny too. he kept me entertained with his crazy old man act.

RED is based on a graphic novel by Warren Ellis and Cully Hammer. Now i know most if any of you reading this might not know who these people are, Ellis is a very talented graphic novel and comic writer and Hammer is a a talented artist. I have some of Ellis's work at my place and I like his story telling direction so I knew that this movie wouldn't be disappointing if they kept to the basics of the story. The movie is pretty solid and I liked it better than the Losers. Similar format but two different movies.

If you love graphic novels and comic books I suggest you take the time to experience this movie

-VP

Buried

Grade: B+

This film stars Ryan Reynolds.......and that's it. He plays a contracted truck driver (Paul Conroy) who is stationed in Iraq. While delivering supplies, his convoy is attacked and he wakes up in a wooden box buried a few feet underground with a cell phone with half battery life, a faulty Zippo, a knife, two glowsticks, and a dwindling oxygen supply. He has an hour and a half to get $5 million in the hands of the man who captured him or he will be left to die.

I don't want to give away too much because it's one of those movies that the less you know going in the better it is, but trust me when I say there is much more to it. But one thing I will talk about is the fact that the whole 90 minute film is shot entirely inside the box. No flashbacks, no cut-aways. And the director, Rodrigo Cortes, did an amazing job with such a limited setting. You would think that watching a guy in a box for 90 minutes would get pretty boring and monotonous but this is one of the most suspenseful and thrilling movies I've seen in a while. Everything from the camera angles to the sound editing enhances the experience.

Ryan Reynolds really makes this film what it is. I've always liked him as an actor before, but this gave me a new level of respect for him. He made his role so believable and it was easy to sympathize with his character. If you see it, you'll understand why and also why this film was released only in select theaters.

Of course the movie isn't perfect and there are tiny holes here and there but they don't take away from what this film is overall. I love when a quality indie film is granted more exposure. "Buried" deserves it...I highly recommend it.

-GB

The Social Network

Grade: A

Easily one of the top 5 movies of the year in my book. And the year isn't even finished yet. By now I'm sure that I don't have to say that this film is about Facebook. It pretty much traces the social networking site from its inception to present day...and also all the drama behind it between the players involved.

I'm sure some of the story is fabricated to make it more interesting for the silver screen, but none the less it is a very interesting story. It was shot very beautifully that gives you a warm feeling. You feel like you're on the campus of Harvard University in a dorm room with these guys drinking beer and writing lines of code. The film moves quickly but not so quickly that you will get lost...it's just more upbeat than I expected...and FULL of quick, witty humor which I love! I also enjoyed the themes of friendship, betrayal, and loyalty that are so prevalent in this film.

The cast did a great job portraying their characters, although I've never met any of them in real life. I didn't feel like I was watching Justin Timberlake in a movie, which is a plus. But Jesse Eisenberg who played Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook) completely stole the show. I was first introduced to him through the movie "Zombieland" and he reminded me of Michael Cera because he played a witty, awkward guy who was hilarious. Their voices even sound similar. But seeing him be able portray a witty, egotistical, genius, asshole was very delightful. His performance was great and I can't wait to see him in more films in the future.

I recommend this to anyone who has used a social network of any kind...to give a deeper understanding of what goes on behind the scenes. Ironically, when I went to see it, I would say 70-80% of the audience was 50 or older. Threw me off a little bit, but go figure. Apparently it's not a film meant for just Generation Y.

-GB


Jackass 3-D


Grade: B+ (on a comedy scale ONLY)




If you watched the show, Jackass, then you will be tuned in for more of the same. Each episode got a little more crazy and raunchy and by the time they hit the big screen we all knew it would be one of those "OMFG!!!" moments. You got to see the puke, the "he's just a little too comfortable in that" pranks, the strange tricks/talents each man has and the down right "why in the FU*K would you do that?" scenes. We were lead to believe that the 1st Jackass movie in 2002 would be the one and only. Most of the cast split and got there own shows (Wildboyz, Viva La Bam, & Dr. Steve-O), some went to movies namely Johnny Knoxville (Duke's Of Hazzard, The Ringer). Yet they some how brought the crew back together for another go at the wild and crazy fun that their minds could dream up for Jackass Number Two. Still when the movie credits rolled we all wondered would they come back because there is no way they can out do themselves after that. Jackass one and two left you with questions of

• "how are these dudes not gay?"
• "what makes them want to do that?"
• "who would marry them?"
• "how can they be rich off this?"
• "why do i keep watching this?"
• (most of all) "How can they possibly top that"

Well atleast the last question gets answered. Jackass 3-D will leave you disgusted and laughing to no end. I have never in my life laugh at their gags as hard as i did when watching this movie. I know alot of people are thinking "...but i dont care for the whole 3D thing..." honestly me either. Though i will say this is one 3D movie(along with avatar) that i can honestly say was worth tha extra $15(or however much 3D costs). It brought a new life to the gags, pranks, puke, and all the other hysterical nonsense that this crew brings. If you had a hard time stomaching the TV show or the 1st two movies... run from this... right after you watch it. If you dont laugh blame me by all means but when you walk out still laughing by all means blame me lol.

Is it a must see? Nah. But i still strongly suggest that you do... if not for the laughs for the possibility that this really is the last go round... but its probably not lol
-Jrome

The Worst Addiction

Self-defeat....it surrounds us every day. Self-doubt, stereotypical thoughts/comments, negativity, etc..Most of us are involved in it at some point...some more than others. Perhaps the worst state of self-defeat comes in the form of "playing the victim". We all know at least one person who seemingly can NEVER have a good day, always has something/someone to complain about, always gets the short end of the stick, is always being done wrong, and yet, they fail to see their own fault in ANY of it.

Tara Parker-Pope writes: 

"I got a glimpse of it once from another patient, a woman in her early 60s who complained about her ungrateful children and neglectful friends. As she spoke, it was clear she felt that all the major figures in her life had done her wrong. In fact, her status as an injured party afforded her a psychological advantage: she felt morally superior to everyone she felt had mistreated her. This was a role she had no intention of giving up.

As she left my office, she smiled and said, 'I don’t expect that you’ll be able to help me.' She was already setting up her next failure: her treatment."

Sound familiar? Maybe a little too familiar for some? It's almost like a disease or drug addiction...like people get some sort of high or satisfaction from tearing themselves and others down. It's a subconscious reflex to point the finger for every bad situation. Some people find themselves unhappy and the only way find reassurance is to assign a scapegoat for everything that is going wrong, has gone wrong, or will go wrong in their lives. In any event, I would like to delve a little into how self-victimization can affect us in our personal relationships.

When we play the victim in our personal relationships, it takes the substance out of the connections that we build with people and becomes a game of manipulation. Like a chess game....and your friends/relatives are the pieces. It's easy to manipulate most people by way of sympathy if you choose to do so. Why? People hate to see someone else suffer. Furthermore, they hate it more to think of themselves as the cause of someone else's suffering. What's worse is the friends and relatives that we choose to manipulate and antagonize are often the closest people to us and end up being the ones that we push away. Then we still feel wronged to some degree because we have "the right to be angry" because THIS or THAT happened to us and if people truly cared they would stick around and accept it. (Terribly wrong on so many levels.) So after driving out every substantial relationship, we keep the "yes men/ yes women" around, not to build relationships, but to provide validation as a catalyst for the addiction.  

Yes, we have the right to be angry.....and the people close to us have the right to decide whether or not they want to deal with that anger and resentment. Consequently, most times they choose not to and they can't be held at fault for that. Some people can't be helped simply because they refuse to help themselves...don't get comfortable in your anger. If people are constantly leaving your life, maybe it's because you showed them the door then proceeded to kick them through it. If none of your relationships seem to have any real substance or durability, maybe it's because you don't either....harsh reality.

Pointing the finger can be very deceiving in that it provides a false sense of power to whomever is doing the pointing. I can see how it can possibly make one feel more powerful to release all blame from themselves and throw the baggage on someone else, but ironically, when you do this you are actually surrendering power. Essentially it's like saying someone or something had greater power over a situation than you did. Like you were too incompetent to control your OWN actions as a grown man or woman. Makes no sense to me and I am hard pressed to believe it. But what does make sense is the fact that some people tend to run from being responsible for their actions. It's easier to issue 1,000 excuses rather than 1 acknowledgment or confession that we were wrong. If you messed up, admit it. If you made a bad decision, admit it. If you were late for work, don't become an automatic weapon for excuses, just tell your boss it won't happen again. Most of us are naturally prone to be more openly responsible for the good things in our lives (mortgage payments, car note, tuition), but when it comes to the bad things some want to relinquish as much responsibility as possible so that they don't have to face their demons and are not held accountable for their actions.

We are NOT entitled to "good treatment"....nor are we entitled to "bad treatment". Those terms are relative to the person who speaks them and therefore hold no significance in this discussion. The significant issues are (1) What is going on and (2) How we feel about it. We are much better off when we actively face the facts of a situation rather than personally judging and feeling victimized by it while doing nothing to prevent it or help turn it into a positive. Otherwise, don't feel bad when you find yourself by yourself.

You aren't the only one with problems.

You aren't the only one with pain.

Your situation is not unique.

STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF.

It's not sexy...at all lol

-GB