When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

"Imma do me!"

"I am who I am!"

"Love me or leave me!"

How often in the span of 24 hours do you see, hear, or even speak variations of these words?  We want to stay true to ourselves at all times, which is vital to our happiness, but just like anything else in life we must have balance. I think it has become more of a defense mechanism and a self-affirmation to spew these words out every time we are challenged in our way of thinking or living. Standing your ground is important, but how much is too much? When does keeping it real go wrong?

If our feet are planted at all times, it ensures that we can't be pushed down or moved backwards, but also ensures that we can make no forward progress. Being that most of us like to believe that we embrace change in our lives, sticking to our guns too much in life can prove to be counterproductive to our growth. We all need people around us who uplift and encourage our individualism, but also challenge us to be better in certain areas. In my opinion, those are the best types of relationships. Don't let pride or fear of growth rob you of beneficial relationships in your life. Take it as a blessing to have people who extract you from your comfort zone every now and then.


In our relationships, a lot of us like to take on the "Love me or leave me" mindset. I understand it being used for people who choose to judge unfairly from a distance, but not for those who are closest to us. Just because someone cares for you doesn't mean they agree with everything you're about. Sometimes we know for a fact that there are things about ourselves that we would like to change to make us better individuals ultimately improving our relationships. Sadly, it is easier to say "He/She just couldn't handle me." as justification, rather than use that person to help us make the first steps toward making that necessary change.



Granted there are some relationships that just aren't meant and certain situations can't work, but if you find yourself being left more than loved maybe you need to get a "handle" on yourself and re-evaluate your mindset. Check your ego and find a way instead of finding an excuse. Maybe your deliberate refusal to embrace positive change is pushing people away. If you want a certain type of individual in your life, first make sure you possess the same qualities that you are looking for. If you haven't reached that level yet, how can you possibly live your life on the defensive, wanting good things to happen? Afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to grow, afraid to change.

It is a fundamental law of attraction that like attracts like. Whatever you have, or are, you attract more of. If we truly want to change for the better, then we should change our thoughts and our words because they become who we are. In other words, our dominant thoughts are what attract the people and the circumstances in our lives.


It's your life and you created it, which means you have all the power to change it, for better or for worse. Don't get too comfortable with who you are (or who you think you are) at any given time. Who wants to stay the same for forever? That's not living, that's death for all intents and purposes.

Expectations...

kar·ma [kahr-muh]
-noun
1. Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman.

To be honest, I don't really like talking about karma, ironically, however, I talk about it in some form or fashion everyday. We all do. I just like using the term "reaping what you sow. " they are similar in some form but different as well. Tomatoes or tomatoes, I know. We all have something we prefer over the other. Both terms do imply that whatever you do has a corresponding action to it. For every action there is a reaction.

I think we get upset with karma and life for a couple of reasons. We all know someone who wants more than they contribute in life (it may be you). You know, the person that gives a dollar expecting to be a millionaire for their contribution. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but be a little more realistic with your expectations (yes, I realize that the amount doesn't really mean anything. If that was all you had then that's more people Should strive to give as much). There is also that person who does something small for you and in return wants you to do something huge for them, knowing they would never accept something like that from you.

Instant gratification is starting to become a major downfall for a lot of us as well, especially when it comes to interaction with one another. We want instant gratification for just about everything we do. Instant karma doesn't generally happen that way in life and we also tend to attempt to push instant karma on each other. Negative actions are not trumped by negative responses. If your ex cheated on you, let it go and move on. Stop trying to get back a them so that you can have some sense of evenness or because you want to teach them a lesson. You just got schooled in betrayal, so how are you gonna teach the same lesson? All you are doing is adding to your own negative karma. Move on and find happiness elsewhere, if that's an option. Our emotions do not need to be instantly appeased, and that what gets us in trouble. We feel a certain way and we feel some need to cater to that emotion, and perform some action with little to no thought. We then end up with a bigger problem than what we started out with.

I use to wonder if karma existed or not. I questioned it because I wanted instant gratification and I felt that things weren't going fairly in my life.... In other words I felt like I wasn't getting what I deserved. I was asking why me a lot. Truth is, I probably was getting what I deserved, I just didn't realize it at first. Every action has a reaction, and you reap what you sow.

Many people compare life to a garden or a field, I'm no exception. You have to make sure that the ground you choose to plant is is suitable for growth, cause that's your foundation. Then you have to make sure that the seeds you plant will produce the fruit that you want. It makes no sense planting apple seeds when you want oranges. If you want positive things to happen to you in life, you have to be positive. It's that simple. Success starts out in your mind. You have to think and believe before you actually do. And that's the care and time you put into your garden. If you neglect your product for too long then it's not going to grow the way you want it to. Life does have unexpected outcomes though and your fruit will not always produce the way you expect it to. However, once your fruit has develops you have to share it with others. It's not just for your consumption alone.

There is a phrase I've heard too much of in the last couple of weeks: "If you are the smartest in your group, then you need to find another group." I have no idea why people believe this statement. Why should you change groups just because you are the brightest? A pastor doesn't dump his deacons because they don't experience revelations on the same level he does. He shares his revelations, and in turn they apply that to their lives and share with others. Thats what we should all do with our knowledge. It's our gift. It's our fruit.

When it comes to giving, you don give just so that you receive. Thats not why you give. Eventually you will recurve but that's because giving inspires more giving. We give because we are able to. Plain and simple. We have an abundance of whatever it is that we have been inspired to give. Giving brings others that much closer to feeling whole.

Can't Tell Me NOTHING!!!

(Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothing) La La La La (HEY) Wait till I get my money right La La La La (YEAH) Then you can't tell me nothing right (Why are we...late) Excuse me, is you saying something? Uh uh, you can't tell me nothing (YEAH) You can't tell me nothing (HAHA) Uh uh, you can't tell me nothing.

Atleast that's what we would ALL love to think... Yet end of the day, money or not, it won't bring you happiness... A few days ago a friend and i were discussing relationships, happiness, finding happiness, and finding it in a relationship. Started as just a little venting about relationships and problems compare/contrast typical things most people discuss when venting, yet when we hit the topic of his/her happiness it got really interesting... enough to write about atleast.

When going into any relationship we always want to find someone compatible and usually find someone that is so different, yet so like ourselves, we fall into a state of amazement, confusion, and bliss... in other words, we fall in love. The most confusing part of any relationship is the lack of knowing even when you "know" you know. The assumptions, the second guessing, and the all out ignorance we then show when trying to be the perfect match.

Ex. His P.O.V. - "I just know she is gonna love this gift" only to get that "eh... its alright(smile)" Her P.O.V. - "He is gonna love this sexy dress i just got" only for him to not notice AT ALL.

So it pushes us to dig deeper to impress and gives a bit of a thrill, that we don't know our partner as well as we think. We hope to have alot of the same views but feed off the views we don't share. Some people feed off the monetary things we own or aspire for, some feed off the ability to do for self, some feed off family... but its becoming more rare to find those who feed off making as many people around them happy. We focus so much on self that we try to overlook others when unhappy.

Ask yourself this?

• Can you overlook someone who is sitting alone crying with out asking what is wrong?
• Are you willing to give something for nothing?
• Can you put yourself to the side if it will help another?
• Are you willing to give up a day to help someone in need?
• Can you ask for something and not do something in return?

Sometimes we focus on self to the point that we grow cold to others... now myself being a realist i say i "have love" for everyone i meet even though i don't like, or trust them til given a reason too. It's just something i feel should be earned; Yet, i also feel respect is something that should be given, until there is little to know need for respecting that person. I respect and have love for everyone but i have no reason to believe you are not an idiot until you show me so... contradictory? A little! But try this on...

You meet a random person who is kindly giving out candy, You just so happen to like what they are giving out yet you respectfully decline while watching others take a piece and keep it moving.

Now think, why didn't you take a piece what you really wanted one? Because you didn't trust them, you thought they were krazy, no one is that nice, people don't just give for no reason. All of these can apply.

If a week later you saw the same person there doing the samething would you turn it down then?

Sadly some people really do things out of the kindness of their heart, but when you come across this you look at those taking it as if they were krazy, ignorant, gullable. When we allow our fiend for money to cloud our views on making things "better" in life. True enough we can always want better for ourselves but sometimes you have to think about the good "karma" that can come from giving more that expecting to recieve. Some of you may take what im saying and agree yet do nothing but is your greed really something you want to have that "Can't Tell Me Nothing" mindset? Or should you just give a little bit of time, money, help to someone in nee wether it be listening to a friend, helping at a school/shelter, or just taking a moment to ask someone who is sitting alone crying "Are you ok?"