The other night i sat with a friend and had a long talk about relationhips and dealing with all that can come with it: Drama, children, truth, growth, expectations, needs. With all relationships you have to deal with those topics and questions that qeustion, Where is this going? What do you expect out of this? What do i want out of this? Do we have a future or is this just for now? At the end of our conversation we realized that there are plenty of answers... if you have the right mindset to accpet them.
Im a strong believer in flat out honesty. If my intentions with a person are simply for a physical purpose, i have no shame in saying so. If i hope for more than just a physical relationship i have no problem in letting it be known. Some people i can only view as a friend and though they may want more i have no problem being up front to say it wont happen. That honesty is something i think we (people in general) have gotten away from, we spend so much time playing "the game" that when it comes to being honest we tend to lie to ourselves. We lie to ourselves about what we want so we won't have to be alone. We lie to ourselves about who we really like to avoid being "shot down". We lie to ourselves about what will compliment us in our drive to do more, be more, earn more, in order to be content with someone who does us wrong.
I have listened to plenty of friends complain about their relationships, complain about the lies, the cheating, the distrust, the unwillingness to work together to be happy. No relationship is perfect, they all require time, focus, and patience. So many of us want to find "Love" now that we overlook what being happy really is. I am quick to tell people, "you can't be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself." I live by it, believe it, and allow it to benefit me. If you can't wake up in the morning happy because of what you are doing and striving for, how can you expect someone else to do the same? If you hate the person you are, why would the person you are with like it? Ex.: If a friend constantly tells you how bad their job is, all the excess work they do, how they are under paid, how the managers never acknowledge the accomplishments... why would you want to get a job there?
The partnership that we call a relationship has lost the focus of what it actually is. It seems to be two people that tend to "care" for each other being "together" yet not paying attention to the others needs, personality, tendencies. We usually want to change someone into the person we envision ourselves with whether it be a childhood hope or things you've learned from past relationships. Rarely do we just accept the person for who they are, accept their flaws their likes and dislikes. Nothing in this world is perfect, but that doesn't mean you can't strive for perfection.
I know i will probably catch flak for this but i will say it anyway... a relationship can be looked at like a business contract......
WHOA!!!
Whoa!!
whoa...!
before you snap just wait a second let me explain... I say this because a business contract has rules and regulations or else it becomes void (just like any respectable relationship). Each side takes on the plus and minus of the other with full understanding (atleast that which is told... like most relationships). Both sides agree to benefit off of each others success and support each other in the case of down fall to an extent (just like every common relationship). There are things that each business keeps to themselves as apart of remaining independant yet a majority is shared (just like most relationships should). If the contract at any point is broken both parties can walk away or try to agree to new terms (just like most relationships no days NEED lol).
Honesty and communication are easily the most important things in any relationship. How you do these things may vary but keeping the lines open can make anything successful, with a little hard work, trust, and understanding.
You can't change me... but i can change... for you!(25 weeks smoke free!)
