The Engagement Ring Question

Are engagement rings important to have in the evolution of the relationship or just a waste of money?

In my personal honest opinion, engagement rings are pointless, which to me makes them a waste of money. I've heard why people think rings are so important but in the grand scheme of it all the ring holds as much importance as you put into it. At the end of each day the ring will be nothing more than metal and rock. Then again my opinion is bias because I don’t wear jewelry of any sort. I never understood the fascination of wearing jewelry. In fact, I didn’t buy my two college conference championship rings because I knew I was never going to wear the rings (plus I didn’t like the color and shape they chose), I digress slightly. I asked this question to see what people initially cared about and how they view the traditional engagement process. To all the men I've asked this question to 90% don't put that much importance in the ring. The only reason the man puts his energy into the ring is because his concern usually stops at the woman's desire.

Women fantasize and crave engagement rings a lot more than men do. In fact, some women will go as far as to not agree to marry a man just because he didn’t propose with a ring. They want a ring so bad that they refuse to marry the guy… The craziest thing about it is that the desire to have a ring is so much more than having the desire to be with the "man of their dreams". They have more affection for an inanimate object which feels nothing than the man who wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Before your marriage even begins her focus is completely off.



Of course the ladies would disagree with me because they feel like the ring is a symbol of commitment. It is suppose to be some constant reminder that they are in a committed relationship. It’s some bright shinny object that wards off men and makes her friends' and coworkers' jealous. My question is why should any of this matter? Sure a ring is a symbol of "eternal never ending love", just a forever loop of affection and blah, blah, blah. The thing about symbols is that we often find ourselves putting more energy and focus into the actual symbol than what they are suppose to stand for. A symbol is just that an image. Christians don’t worship crosses over Jesus Christ… well Christians that have a clue.



I personally think that the majority of females out there think they deserve a ring. It’s entitled to them. The reality of it all is that you don't have to be presented with or present a ring to advance your relationship. It really bothers me to hear females say that they would not marry a man just because he didn't get them a ring. Why is it so important to have one? The ring is just reinforcement to the proposal. It’s a visual symbol that helps persuade you into saying yes. That being said that visual symbol can be anything. It can be a boat, a car, a house, a slap bracelet, her favorite flower, etc. It doesn’t have to be anything, because the only thing that should matter is that this dude has made a decision in his heart and mind to want to spend the rest of his life with you. He wants to cherish and love you for the rest of his natural life. The only thing left for the two of you to do after he gets off his knee is to sign some papers to make it official. No ring can take the place of that. You don’t need a ring to remind you that you are married. You don’t need a ring to ward off people because they find you attractive, that’s why you have a mouth. If you are incapable of verbally telling someone that you are in a committed relationship then chances are you are looking for some excuse to step out of the relationship. If you are desperate for attention outside of your relationship well I don’t know what to tell you.

To me rings are extremely overly hyped and that’s our fault as people. We lose sight of the things that really matter. I’m not saying that I would not get a ring; I just don’t want the person I’m with to lose sight of what really matters in our relationship. How much you spend on a ring will never equal how much you care about a person. Never has and never will. I just hope we keep our relationships in perspective.

-VP