Soulmates....?

Admit it...even if you don't want to. At some point in your life you have seriously felt, or had an inkling, that you found your soul mate. Take a second, think back, and recall who you gave that title to....

Some of you are cringing and shaking your heads right now.

Some are laughing hysterically.

Others are smiling because you may still be with that particular person.

I used to believe in the concept, but I'm pretty certain I don't anymore.....and I'm happy about that. Blame my 25 year old cynicism if you will, but I don't believe anyone is mapped out to fit us. I don't believe I was necessarily "made for" anyone and no one was "made for" me.  I know I sound like a huge cynic, but follow me.

I am a man who believes in opportunity.  Not to get super religious, but I believe when we ask God for things like patience, knowledge, or acceptance, we aren't just automatically granted what we wish for. Instead, we are put in a position (aka, given the OPPORTUNITY) to be patient, to gain knowledge, to accept. It's up to us to recognize that opportunity and take that first step toward gaining whatever it is we ask for. With that said, I don't believe happiness in relationships depends necessarily on the person you are with, but more on where both of you are in your development as individuals. You MUST be on the same page. Thus, I believe that finding someone "for you" is a product of good timing and seizing the opportunity...nothing more, nothing less. I seriously doubt that if I had met my lady when we were 18, her and I would have clicked and ended up together. We were two TOTALLY different people than who we are today and it probably would have gone bad pretty quickly...lol

A lot of times, we are too quick to bestow the "soulmate" title because we want a strong connection so badly to the point where we do our best to MAKE one...especially if the relationship is a good one (or better than we've had previously). We are afraid to lose that person, to be alone, to have to "start over". And before we know it, what was once love (if it ever was) has turned into convenience and fear. We trick ourselves into believing that this is the best thing ever, then when the truth reveals itself we scare ourselves into staying in unfulfilling relationships. Holding on to what we think is best for us, when all we're really holding on to is familiarity....All because we have prematurely convinced ourselves way too early in the relationship that "This is it." Not necessarily because of the other person, but out of our own selfish aversion to the thought of being alone....

Sound familiar? We've all been there, whether on one side of the equation or the other.

 The Foreign Exchange - Fight For Love by EVO85


I think one of the best things anyone can do when it comes to relationships is calm down. Take your time and BUILD something worthwhile...one brick at a time. We focus too much on "Forever" and not enough on building up to Forever. Stop thinking and trying so hard...you shouldn't have to TRY to be with someone to where you start to force a relationship. Let go of the ridiculous titles "He/She is my everything."  "Always."  "Forever."  That stuff is way to absolute to focus on and claim so early on in a relationship. The best relationships are ones where the two individuals have accepted that it could indeed NOT be forever and always, thus they focus on actually building a relationship from the ground up to a (possible) Forever; and letting life "happen" in the meantime. Whether that means that all they'll ever be is friends or they end up married for 60 years. They understand that they probably can't create the cookie cutter dream that they've had about what a fulfilling relationship is "supposed" to be.

They know and accept that they know NOTHING except that they can't force love where it doesn't exist. Square pegs do not fit in round holes, no matter how much we want them to sometimes. In other words, it is what it is.

Timing & Opportunity




Skip to about the 6:30 mark. The beach scene....contains one of my favorite dialogues.



Peace,

GB

Embrace Yourself

I really get irritated when I tell a girl that I like her or use to like her and she says something like "But why? I'm goofy. I'm weird."
Apparently I don't care about all that and I'm willing to accept you the way you are.

I do realize that people make an attempt at being modest with these statements, but they come off as rather annoying to me. Just say thank you. For one it's hard enough trying to tell someone that you like them, then you hear this insecure sounding line...

Moving on...

I respect and appreciate a person that can be themselves around me. That makes me feel comfortable to be myself. It allows me to open up and let that person in to what makes me me. You shouldn't be ashamed to be yourself and if you are surrounding yourself around people that make you feel uncomfortable with yourself, then maybe you need to find some new people who are willing to accept you for who you are.



I don't know where the tendency to "down" yourself comes from (I guess the media). You should just accept the compliment when someone finds you attractive. Some people make excuses as to why you shouldn't find them attractive (which makes you unattractive, and I don't think it looks modest) and other people have to inform you of the things that you missed about their attractiveness..... This is another failure to me. Don't point out things you think I've missed about you, you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment.

I've found myself wanting to divert attention away from myself when I receive compliments. I do it for various reasons, but the easiest thing to do is say thank you. If I don't find them attractive I just appreciate their good taste in men and move on.

If you are attractive then that's what you are. I hate that females feel like they have to be dressed up and have their face caked up with make up and what not just to feel beautiful. Beauty really does come from the inside and we men can sense your insecurities. If a man finds you attractive in your lounge clothes then accept that. That's the real you. That's the you that you feel comfortable with when no one is around looking at you and judging you. If a man can find you beautiful at your ugliest moment then, I think you may have found someone worth hanging around with.

I never really understood women who prance around in tight short dresses and make-up and whatnot just so they can grasp unneeded attention. They seem like the most insecure people to me. I never understand that. Why do you feel you have to have this to feel wanted? You are already wanted by someone who appreciates you. Someone who understand the real you and not just have a piece of you.

What's the point of rejecting the people who want to care for you and when "boo season" hits then you are left posting "lonely tweets" and randomly express your loneliness.

**"boo season" is the season when all insecure females feel lonely and have the desire to cuddle and be with someone simply because the temperature has dropped and no one really wants to be lonely around Christmas time**



The funny thing about not really embracing yourself and not wanting to be with people who are willing to embrace you is that you stay lonely. It won't matter if you are in a relationship or not because the fact that you don't want to be you or embrace all of you still leaves you lonely. Won't matter if you are married with three kids and a house on the hill, you will never really be happy. People don't focus on the right things when they are single, men or women.

Guys, we are just as insecure as women are and we can be just as emotional when things go bad. We are all humans and we all are born with emotion. I don't care how hard you act, when a women rejects you, you feel vulnerable for a second and when you start dissing her because your feelings are hurt, guess what? Yep, that's exactly what you are. Just accept the fact that your approach was weak or that she didn't find you attractive and move on.
Put your energy in picking your self esteem off the floor and not toward dissing her

I don't understand why some guys find it hard to accept that we are emotional too. I just know that if you don't express your emotions the right way you may find yourself having a break down one night in the wrong setting

Eventually the real you comes out. So you might as well put in the real work to embrace it and let people know who you are, especially the people you care about. Life is too unpredictable and why wait until you are 30 to wonder why you can't keep or find a mate? Take your singleness into stride, focus on more than hooking up and what you don't have cause at the end of the day you will always have yourself. I'd rather have a positive outlook on myself then a negative one. So I'm going to love who I am and what I have.

Peace,
VP

Grindin' My Gears!!!

Short Intro: Basic everyday isht that annoys us....... simplest way to put it! lol

J:
You what really GRINDS my Gears... cellphones... now i must admit i could never run for any sort of public office because i would do away with cellphones usage while driving... i know yall are probably like "But why Rome? WHY?" Simple too many dumb muthafu**as out there that couldnt drive prior to getting a cellphone but now they want to text/talk while they drive... i swear, i know i have road rage but its because i actually care about my life and others when i drive... im not trying to die because you tryin to text another "shawt bus shawty" about what spot yall hittin tonite... if you suck at life dont make everybody else risk theirs when they're just trying to get to work/home/to their children... i've been nearly side swiped 5 times in the past 2 weeks, almost ran off the highway twice, cutoff 12 times, and almost rear ended 7 times ALL because of muthafu**in cellphones... and the problem comes in for me is.... i got insurance but if sumbody hits me i jus might get out n whip that azz then ima have to go to jail... cause if you're dumb enough to hit sumbody because you were tryin to focus on your call/text you deserve an azz whippin... anybody that knows me i will tell you QUICK "nigga im drivin i'll hit you back when i stop" y? because even though im a very safe driver i dont want to get distracted and hit sumbody or make them wreck because i wasnt focused on pushin a 10,000lbs killing machine. To my friends that do it.... F**K yall too lol(im serious and playing at tha same time)... cuz if you hit me we might be fightn jus cuz... but seiously think about the people around you for once think about the bad choices you make while driving without the phone and imagine how much worse they ae with it... Cuz "I DONT WANNA DIE" and thats what really grinds my gears...
G:
I don't really want to elaborate on one specific thing in detail this time around, so I have compiled a list of seemingly random things that urk me. Feel free to wave a hand, adlib, or testify if you feel me on any of these. What Really Grinds My Gears....

• Not turning off the vacuum cleaner when you're done with it so when I go to plug it in it startles me.
• Using the last of the toilet paper, getting a new roll out, but just placing it on the counter or on TOP of the roll instead of putting it ON the roll.
• People who can't control their saliva when talking......calm down and speak your words softly, I can hear you. Need a helmet with a visor just to have a conversation with you.
• People who say "huh?" after every statement they make. Ex: "That movie was really good, huh? ...We should go eat something now, huh? ...Ok I'm going to leave the parking lot this way, the other way is pretty jammed, huh?"
• The chronic overuse of the following words and phrases: swag, epic, movie (ex: "Last night was a MOVIE at the club!") [No....it wasn't.], futuristic, gucci, "In the hood like ______", "I'm so fly I can ______", "I'm flier/fresher than ________", and ANY & ALL references involving you comparing yourself to feces (smh)
• Fully capable and healthy people who take the elevator up ONE floor....wasting time for the other 8 people who need to go up 12 floors.
• "empathetic rejection of current policy without a tangible/quantifiable solution" (layman's terms: Disagreeing just to disagree.)
• People who don't use coasters.
• Being asked my telephone number/account number AFTER I already entered it using the key pad. I thought I was supposed to enter that info to "better assist me".
• CONSPIRACY THEORIES!!! Stop the madness, a lot of that bs is made up to keep you unfocused on YOU. Live YOUR life...or end up like MC *ahem* "King Hammer"...

And I'm out.
Peace.


VP :
I am going to get sniped for this mainly because I'm sniping people. Some people annoy me, and at times i may seem insensitive but you have to understand at those times, you just seem really dumb.

What's currently grinding my gears is people who just crave attention. Just stop, it makes you look silly. You have men who want praise for taking care of their kids. You are suppose to do that. Men who want a certificate for paying child support on time every month. Try being in the child's life full time (I know certain situation can pervent you from doing so). Women aren't any better either. And social networks have made this very, very, very annoying.

For instance, I'm reading my timeline on Twitter and I see someone complain that they have lost the ability to use their eyes... their post all day consisted of this "I can't see, someone help me" "Can someone drive me around, cause I can't see" "I can't find stuff, cause I can't see." This was crazy reading, cause it made no sense to me, stop straining to type. Other than that series of post I have to read (from other people mind you) "I'm hungry, who wants to buy me lunch, no cheap stuff" (get a job). "I'm really sleepy, someone come tuck me in" (choke yourself to sleep). "I have on sweatpants, a hat and a t shirt, I look like crap today" (you and everyone in the world know that you are still beautiful). "Why hasn't he called me yet, men are dogs" (wait, so you sleep with animals? What did you expect was gonna happen when you just gave it away?). "I feel some sort of way right now" (What does this even me? Are you that out of tune with yourself that you don't know what emotion you are feeling?). And my all time favorite annoying post "I'm so horny/frustrated/lonely etc."

As much as I wanted to ignore these post, I can't just erase out my mind what I just read or glanced over. It just makes me shake my head. Now I know I just pointed some people out, but this is the ignorance that most people, who crave attention, subject themselves to. Then when people point out these questionable actions then they want to get smart with them. GET BENT! I know that people want to be recognized and acknowledged but where does it end? People are grasping for attention when they don't need it. They want a bloody medal for doing insignificant thingsand feeling emotions. ROLL DOWN A HILL!!!!!!!





That's my rant, yeah yeah yeah, I know...