Some of you are cringing and shaking your heads right now.
Some are laughing hysterically.
Others are smiling because you may still be with that particular person.
I used to believe in the concept, but I'm pretty certain I don't anymore.....and I'm happy about that. Blame my 25 year old cynicism if you will, but I don't believe anyone is mapped out to fit us. I don't believe I was necessarily "made for" anyone and no one was "made for" me. I know I sound like a huge cynic, but follow me.
I am a man who believes in opportunity. Not to get super religious, but I believe when we ask God for things like patience, knowledge, or acceptance, we aren't just automatically granted what we wish for. Instead, we are put in a position (aka, given the OPPORTUNITY) to be patient, to gain knowledge, to accept. It's up to us to recognize that opportunity and take that first step toward gaining whatever it is we ask for. With that said, I don't believe happiness in relationships depends necessarily on the person you are with, but more on where both of you are in your development as individuals. You MUST be on the same page. Thus, I believe that finding someone "for you" is a product of good timing and seizing the opportunity...nothing more, nothing less. I seriously doubt that if I had met my lady when we were 18, her and I would have clicked and ended up together. We were two TOTALLY different people than who we are today and it probably would have gone bad pretty quickly...lol
A lot of times, we are too quick to bestow the "soulmate" title because we want a strong connection so badly to the point where we do our best to MAKE one...especially if the relationship is a good one (or better than we've had previously). We are afraid to lose that person, to be alone, to have to "start over". And before we know it, what was once love (if it ever was) has turned into convenience and fear. We trick ourselves into believing that this is the best thing ever, then when the truth reveals itself we scare ourselves into staying in unfulfilling relationships. Holding on to what we think is best for us, when all we're really holding on to is familiarity....All because we have prematurely convinced ourselves way too early in the relationship that "This is it." Not necessarily because of the other person, but out of our own selfish aversion to the thought of being alone....
Sound familiar? We've all been there, whether on one side of the equation or the other.
The Foreign Exchange - Fight For Love by EVO85
I think one of the best things anyone can do when it comes to relationships is calm down. Take your time and BUILD something worthwhile...one brick at a time. We focus too much on "Forever" and not enough on building up to Forever. Stop thinking and trying so hard...you shouldn't have to TRY to be with someone to where you start to force a relationship. Let go of the ridiculous titles "He/She is my everything." "Always." "Forever." That stuff is way to absolute to focus on and claim so early on in a relationship. The best relationships are ones where the two individuals have accepted that it could indeed NOT be forever and always, thus they focus on actually building a relationship from the ground up to a (possible) Forever; and letting life "happen" in the meantime. Whether that means that all they'll ever be is friends or they end up married for 60 years. They understand that they probably can't create the cookie cutter dream that they've had about what a fulfilling relationship is "supposed" to be.They know and accept that they know NOTHING except that they can't force love where it doesn't exist. Square pegs do not fit in round holes, no matter how much we want them to sometimes. In other words, it is what it is.
Timing & Opportunity
Skip to about the 6:30 mark. The beach scene....contains one of my favorite dialogues.
Peace,
GB
a truth that few want to hear/realize.
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