I Just Wanna Be Successful....

This one was inspired by an interesting convo I had at Starbucks on Saturday. Sometimes when you start speaking you surprise yourself. Just hearing yourself say some things can make you realize the ways in which you have grown. Sometimes that is a bad thing, but thankfully this was not one of those times. I've had enough bad revelations about myself for one year....lol smh. Success....what is it? No really....what is it? And don't give me a dictionary definition or a societal/social answer, those are someone else's thoughts. What is success according to you? I feel that far too often our idea of success gets a little skewed. Society teaches us that we constantly have to work hard, constantly have to be on our toes or we may miss an important opportunity or be passed up by the next person. Sometimes we get so caught up in "grinding" professionally from day to day that when we actually have time to just chill and focus on our personal lives, it's foreign to us. Then we feel lazy, stagnant, unproductive, etc.. Recently, the "No days off", "I'll sleep when I'm dead" mentality has become an epidemic. Listen, I get that it provides encouragement and inspiration to say those types of things and it sounded good in that song you heard or when Diddy said it. But is that really what you want for yourself? Sleep deprivation is not sexy. Some feel that you make too much of a sacrifice professionally when you have too much of a personal life. Others feel the opposite. While I can agree with both, I believe in BALANCE. In my opinion, you can and should have both. Life is not as fulfilling otherwise and there will always be a void you'll be looking to fill. It's pretty ironic to me to hear a person say that they are happily married to their career or to money or whatever because they are against settling in their personal lives. But to me, that mentality in and of itself is in fact settling and, in a way, cowardly. I believe it is perfectly feasible and necessary to have REAL friends, maintain a relationship with your family, and/or have a significant other while reaching your goals. I've seen people purposely isolate themselves to reach their goals and end up doing that so long that they become afraid of relationships, afraid to get close to anyone, afraid of hurting or getting hurt, afraid of loving or being loved; so they get comfortable in their own fear and never take that chance to really live. They purposely accept long-term careers that keep them on the go so they are not in one place long enough to build a life there... What are you running from? Because you can't dodge it forever. That, to me, is settling....fear of life and all that it brings. Not having the ability to enjoy every aspect of life. And that's what I'm afraid of....being one-dimensional. Having tunnel vision to the point where I drive out everything else. Having "success" but no one to share it with is failure to me. I love what I do for a living and I have a plan for where I would like to end up to ensure security professionally and financially. I will achieve these goals, but they aren't my life's purpose. When I accomplish these goals, I also want to remain close to my family and friends. I do want to meet new friends and build new relationships in addition to the ones I already have. I do want to work towards eventually having a family and sustaining it. I want my kids to work hard and be able to compete but I refuse to cripple them emotionally and mentally because I've focused too much on just one aspect of life when raising them. I want them to know how to love, how to care, how to accept, how to think, how to be an individual. That will surely take them much further than my degree or my money can. - GB

"If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all." - Anna Quindlen