The Nice Guy/Good Girl Syndrome...

The other night i after talking to a friend she told me, "you really are a nice guy... wow", now i've always prided myself on breing a gentleman, being respect full and caring of those around me (especially females). Perhaps it was due to the fact that i was raised by such a strong and proud black woman, or because i saw the effect of "being a player" at such a young age, or maybe just because i was taught respect of people by my father. No matter what it was i have always cared for those close to me and showed them that not only in actions but words. Yet for a long time i went on being single while wanting that meaningful relationship with someone who i could spoil and be spoiled by, yet everytime i thought i was getting to that point i would notice that someone has hit a hard left on me n said "you are such a nice/good guy and thats y i like you" but that is where the potential ended. i was place behind the "bars of friendship" and wondering WTF happened between c-w when a-z was going so right. I continuously thought maybe im too nice, maybe im a push over, but quickly came to the sense that... no its because she likes "bad boys" and a majority of the time i was not wrong... i was usually dead on! They go from talking to me to a guy that is disrespectful and prolly cheatin on em (this has been the case with a good 75%). i never got mad at them or turned my back on them i just decided to chill out in tha friend zone and be just that, a good friend. Time and time again i ran into the same situation until i finally said "F**K IT!", i refuse to be the good guy. I instead chose to be the "Bad Boy" that women all seem to love... only to find myself not liking the idea 5 days into it and reverted back to being the only thing i could be... ME, real, blunt, caring, respectful, loving. Yea so i went through my fair share of having people attempt to walk ALL over me, possibly self inflicted, but why change what i admire about myself so much.

1.He isn't needy and clingy; wishy washy. He doesn't get pussy whipped. He wants that relationship with her, but he will also leave her at any time if she doesn't get rid of the attitude. He can take and leave them at any time. 2.He has no problem telling a beautiful woman to kiss his ass if she is acting like a bitch with an attitude, whether she is a stranger or not. 3.He doesn't do everything a woman asks him to do. She is not ALWAYS right. 4.He gives her hell once in a while, he tells her what he thinks when she does dumb things�but, he does it in moderation, and in a constructive way. 5.He makes his own decisions in his life. He is not indecisive. 6.He doesn't let people walk over him, even his boss. He will tell his abusive boss to shove it, and he will then go get another job, even if it means moving to another town or city. He is a confident, take-charge kind of a man, like a man should be.

Props to Perry Rose for this. Many of my close friends have been through the same, why because i surround myself with many of those respectful type of guys who actually care about others without having to force it. I also find myself with many of the "bad boy" types as well i guess it gives me views of what is good to be and what is not. If being called a good guy for us is a bad thing i guess its a path down the wrong road we will enjoy... in a sense i guess we're "BadBoys 4 Life" On the flipside females are expected to be the "good girl" but rarely do we give them credit for actually being that. I have a very close friend who i admire her in her quest to remain a virgin until marriage(yes 25 yrs and counting). Alot of times we dont hear the term "good girl" and truely believe that said person is a good girl. We tend to assume (buulshit) that its all a lie/game. How can there actually be a such thing as a good girl when you have soo many giving up out like balloons on free balloon day. Now to say she is a "good girl" doesnt have to mean she is a virgin but it is assumed that she would be to deserve such a title. I stay around what i consider "good girls" (not because of their virginity or lack there of but) because of the person they are and what they would/could bring to a relationship. Jay-Z said, "you can turn a bad girl good but once a good girl has gone bad she's gone forever". Honestly i cant complain with that, for the females who hear guys say i used to be a good guy, and for the guys who hear chicks say i used to be a good girl think about this... Most guys only need 1 girl to do them dirty for them to be the "Shadiest Player to ever walk this earth", most females go through 2-5 guys to do them wrong before they become the "Evil One". (please note if i get sniped for this... its cuz its true... niggas might get mad) Most if not all guys start out as "Good Guys" a.k.a. Hopeless Romantics just as much as girls tend to be caught in the marriage fantasy, Difference is most guys really do wear their heart on their sleeve for that 1st love/crush and depending on how that ends can effect their whole life. I know of some who were simply destroyed by their first major relationship and ever since then they become more and more of a player/hoe i dont condone it but i can understand the wall they put up but thats another blog and another subject that i will do later... Back to the matter at hand the "Nice Guy" and "Good Girl" syndrome is real to an extent. You just have to realize that you shouldnt let someone or some events change the person you are when you are happy that way... being the "bad boy/bad girl" my seem attractive but if you are true to yourself you will find that being you in the end is all that matters... dont change to be someone you are not and may begin to hate... Signing out, Jrome... (25 n still a good guy)