Happy Monday!!! I hope everyone has had a wonderful, restful, fun weekend and
ready to tackle the week. My weekend was pretty good....full of some interesting revelations. I'm winding down now with a Heineken and some instrumentals courtesy of iTunes and Youtube. Just wanna hear the music....words get in the way sometimes.
First off, if you haven't seen "The Social Network" yet, please go check it out when you get the opportunity. Brilliant movie. Definitely much more than I was expecting...and I was expecting quite a bit. It's worth that $10 $15 $25 $115.75....lol whatever movie theaters are charging in your area these days...
Something hit me mentally on Friday and was coincidentally one of the themes of "The Social Network" so I'd like to share it with the masses (or the few). Hopefully you can share your thoughts with me. I *try* not to advise too much on relationships unless someone asks my opinion or asks for advice because I'm a firm believer that people need to go through what they need to go through to get where they're going (wherever that may be). Plus...I'm no expert in that area. In any event, I'd like to speak on the infamous Power Struggle that exists in a lot of our relationships, romantic or otherwise.
I believe competition is positive for and nourishes our growth as individuals. We compete athletically, professionally, and even in our personal relationships. But at what point does it turn from healthy competition to a toxic struggle for power? I think the root cause of a major conflict in any relationship more often than not is motivated by a quest for power or dominance...whether it be blatant or subconscious. A lot of times, two people with strong personalities can bring out the best in one another. On the other hand, it can be exhausting to feel like you are in constant competition with your partner over who has more power in the relationship.
Are we partners or opponents?
Things start to spin out of control when we stop trying to objectively reach a solution and just focus on winning the argument. At that point, we stop listening to the other person and wait impatiently for our turn to speak....because our pride has just been tested. We HAVE to show our individuality and let the other person know that 
we refuse to be walked over. We have to stand firm on our beliefs and who we are (or who we think we are). We have to earn respect by any means. That mindset was embedded in us at an early age and is more or less our defense mechanism to the world. It is great to stand firm on what you believe in, but it's even greater to be able to accept when you are wrong and that you might need to reevaluate and work on yourself a little bit. It's a very tough thing to admit, but pride can dissolve any relationship and often turns into regret. Aim for happiness instead of aiming to win or be right. Don't be so rigid that you push everyone away. I sometimes have to ask myself is what I stand for worth losing a friend or family member over. Sometimes that answer is yes, but most times it has been no and I've had to take a step back and really check myself. We should all strive to put things into perspective and be "bigger picture" individuals rather than just individuals. The incessant need to prove yourself can earn you respect, but also leave you very lonely. Don't be so stubborn that you put yourself in a position where you have to realize something after the fact (aka "the hard way"), because most of the time "after the fact" is too late.
we refuse to be walked over. We have to stand firm on our beliefs and who we are (or who we think we are). We have to earn respect by any means. That mindset was embedded in us at an early age and is more or less our defense mechanism to the world. It is great to stand firm on what you believe in, but it's even greater to be able to accept when you are wrong and that you might need to reevaluate and work on yourself a little bit. It's a very tough thing to admit, but pride can dissolve any relationship and often turns into regret. Aim for happiness instead of aiming to win or be right. Don't be so rigid that you push everyone away. I sometimes have to ask myself is what I stand for worth losing a friend or family member over. Sometimes that answer is yes, but most times it has been no and I've had to take a step back and really check myself. We should all strive to put things into perspective and be "bigger picture" individuals rather than just individuals. The incessant need to prove yourself can earn you respect, but also leave you very lonely. Don't be so stubborn that you put yourself in a position where you have to realize something after the fact (aka "the hard way"), because most of the time "after the fact" is too late.Get out of your own way.
We are all a product of our past...that is what shapes our ideals and beliefs, how we interact with other people, and how we handle conflict. Because of this, I think we spend more time defending ourselves in relationships rather than being more objective and compromising. We see compromise as giving up who we are, but who REALLY wants to stay the exact same way forever? If people can't change and grow, what is the purpose of existence? Learning, growing, and evolving mean that you have to make changes, and if you truly love your partner/family member/friend, who better to be a teacher? But how can you grow if every time you don't get your way, you retreat or show the other person the door? Don't use your love as a weapon and don't deny yourself growth because of fear or pride. It hurts to hold that mirror up to yourself, but it is essential for any progression to occur. Muscles must tear a little before they grow...
- GB
Wise words Gev!
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