In a previous blog, Once A Cheater!... Always A Cheater?, i touched on things that can lead to making "us"(men) cheat. Such as, "Problem is with it only taking 1-3 women to turn a man into a "Dog", like so many claim we all are" and i still stand by this statement... For most men it only takes a few women to make us "cold hearted dogs", but it can also be understood that if a guy has been scared and hasnt let go then im sorry to report "you're prolly gonna get screwed". Unfortunately today im not defending that type of nigga... cause its yo turn niggas!!!
Too many times "we" as men allow ourselves to take the hurt and pain from every TRIFLIN HO in the past, bottle it up, and use it as a reason to not let ANYBODY get close to our "heart". Which in some cases i again understand but its 2011 its time to let go... You are not helping yourself you're just spreading the pain to them to start that cycle ALL over again. The worst part of "playing the game" is you are just giving them that same pain you experienced. It's not "being a man", it's being a coward. You can't lead someone on and then leave them hanging in limbo because YOU didn't know how to let go of the heart break YOU experienced. So yea your ex cheated with your best friend, or she stepped out with your brother, or she became yo ex-girl with a girlfriend. Instead of bottling that pain up and using it as ammo we need to practice letting go. You know stop take a second and BREATH BITCH... sigh.
I think it's funny to see so many guys out here trickin off these girls but when they have a daughter they dont want a nigga to do it to her. Well POPS welcome to the world of Karma! Just because you fucked over a ton of girls doesnt mean your child will experience it, yet at the same time you can't expect it to go super great. Sometimes we just have to be real with ourselves and understand that yea we can go out and be hos. Though you can't lead someone on to think they have a reason to love you when you have a no strings attached mindset. I think at some point we have all suffered from the addiction to freedom but if you can't be real with the person(s) you're messing with then you are lying to yourself about YOUR happiness.
Growning up i think we all start as hopeless romantics(please look it up if u dont know) yet with tv, music, and the older men around us we pick up on the tricking off. Once we get that 1st taste of heart break most of us move on still hopeless romantics hoping to find happiness. Then it happens again thats when you can make the choice to keep hoping or become what you know you really don't want to be but will accept because "every otha nigga do it".
There's nothing wrong with being tough, there is something wrong with being cold. Any man that tries to say he is happy fucking every girl in sight he is lying because at the end of the day everybody wants that one body to come home to. Some front and say they don't care, yet they do. No man whats to be cheated on just like no man wants to be the "side dick", yet we treat women like they should love that position. Why continue to live up to a stereotype, when you can encourage the next young brother to do better and expect better? With life comes pain, but todays pain doesnt have to be tomorrows.
We can always look at what hurt us, what can hurt us, what will hurt us, but we have to let go. Keep it with you as a learning point but let the pain, anger, and hurt go because if you dont you are going to start that cycle withnot only the next girl but the next generation. If all men are dogs why not try to be "that nigga" that's not. Be the guy who actually does give a shit about a person enough to tell them the truth. If you have to lie to someone about being with them when you have no intentions to be that is the same as cheating. If you have a "side chick" and a "main chick" you're cheating. Basically if you have felt the pain before why spread it to everyone else? Thats just more pain for her to deal with and possibly pass on to what could have been a good nigga.
There can't be truth without care... meaning maybe you should give a shit about the people you talk to... even if its just a cut buddy, give a shit enough to atleast let them know, "hey this is all it is, if you aren't happy with it we need to move on", might seem kinda crazy but believe me its a whole lot easier and better for both parties.
from my point of view on this....is that when guys (this also applies to us) hold on to so much crap from an ex it is possible that they will eventually cheat themselves out of really being truly happy with someone. there can be that one girl that somehow made it through and some how captured your heart making you feel like that hopeless romantic you once was and not the dog u have become....but because you keep holding on to the pains from previous ex's you think that your over it but really truly not cause without realizing it the girl who is not like the rest u been with will still suffer for those in the past. you may not intentionally realize your doing it but when the girl your with brings it to your attention and points it out to you you have a choice then either you just listen to what she says and do nothing to change it or you do whats right and change it...its hard for the girl who has given you her heart and has the best intentions for you in this relationship when she's constantly compared to an ex...it hurts even more when she tells you hey this hurts my feelings i have never done this to you i want us to be happy and you still don't truly listen and don't change it its just like a slap to the face...but because you didn't listen causing strain on the relationship thats not necessary that there's only so much a person can take to they feel like i cant do this anymore cause im no longer happy...she will eventually leave you and you cant blame her for it cause you would do the same..... i know no one is perfect by no means...there is enough pain and negative things out in this world to deal with when your alone it shouldn't have to be this way when you want to be with someone....you should be happy and have each others back be there for one another. one person cant be the one who holds the relationship down it takes two...and when the two of you realize this you will have a strong relationship thats untouchable nobody can break that bond unless you let them...and u can go through this life, this world together and have that love,the support,and respect that most people would love to have..............
ReplyDeleteYou know what's funny about relationships and life? We can only go off and compare things to what we know. Everyone does it. I can't stand when I'm in a relationship and I'm constantly being compared to the ex, but guess what? Everyone will be compared to the ex and the past. That's how we determine if the future is worth moving toward. No one wants to be in a relationship that is constantly reminding them of all the things that ended the last one. If some one's last relationship was that painful to them the other person needs to be as supportive as possible if they want the relationship to last. I'm not saying that it all falls on the other person's shoulders, but letting go is not as easy as it sounds on paper. What keeps relationships together is people wanting to be together and not someone looking for the nearest escape boat when things get a little rough. One of the biggest flaws in today's relationships is that people move too fast without thinking about what's really going on. Moving at a faster pace than what you can handle has never done anyone any good. Some times we need to take steps back and ask ourselves are we really able to handle this? do I really want to handle this? have I prepared myself for this? We don't utilitize our single life effectively and it comes back to bite us in the butt. That's why men are considered dogs. We don't take the time to heal and learnn to not be selfish. The same way it took a few females to label us, it only takes a few more to clear our name and give us a new label.
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