Back to Normal

Time has a way of “sneaking up” on us. For the most part we fail to pay attention to what is going on. The other day, I found myself asking the question “when will things go back to normal?” Immediately after I asked this question, I had to ask myself what normal meant to me. I laughed at this question because I began to think about what became abnormal in my life. Nothing is out of place, nothing was strange, and so nothing was abnormal. So why did I say this? Why did I desire something I already had? That was the strange part to me.

The reality of it all is that I wanted to go back, backwards in time. Back when things seemed easier yet were so much more unclear. Back when I could run 3 miles without feeling like I was going to pass out after running one. Back when I could see my friends everyday. Back when I didn’t have to pay bills. Looking back on my life, things then were so easy, back then, they weren’t so much. I miss those times and I found myself longing for them because they are familiar to me now. It’s the past now. I’ve ready taken those steps and walked through those doors, but nothing in my life is abnormal right now.
I think we want to go back in life because we are afraid. The future is unclear and is full of change. Change is constant. I look on my future and I have some “fears”. I put fears in quotations because they aren’t huge fears but they are still fears. For instance, I’m not too big on enduring the pain I have to go through to get back in shape everyday. I’m afraid of rejection and failure. However, operating in fear is living in failure. I should never let my fears and negativity overshadow my progress, hopes, dreams, and goals. Wanting to go backwards to familiarity is taking steps backwards in life. There are instances when you have to back track but you only back track to regain your footing so that you can progress forward in life.
The reason I feel this fear, is mainly because I’ve brought most of it on myself. I made decisions that have placed me in the situations that I currently find myself. So I have to live with them, but that doesn’t mean that I have to live in shame. As long as I have air in my lungs, I can make amends for my mistakes and failures. I’m currently doing that, and I’m doing it with a positive mentality. So in a sense I am getting back to normal by moving forward in my life. Getting back in shape is going to hurt but the results are going to pay off. That’s hope… and hope keeps us all moving forward in life. Hope leads us to a better tomorrow.