When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

"Imma do me!"

"I am who I am!"

"Love me or leave me!"

How often in the span of 24 hours do you see, hear, or even speak variations of these words?  We want to stay true to ourselves at all times, which is vital to our happiness, but just like anything else in life we must have balance. I think it has become more of a defense mechanism and a self-affirmation to spew these words out every time we are challenged in our way of thinking or living. Standing your ground is important, but how much is too much? When does keeping it real go wrong?

If our feet are planted at all times, it ensures that we can't be pushed down or moved backwards, but also ensures that we can make no forward progress. Being that most of us like to believe that we embrace change in our lives, sticking to our guns too much in life can prove to be counterproductive to our growth. We all need people around us who uplift and encourage our individualism, but also challenge us to be better in certain areas. In my opinion, those are the best types of relationships. Don't let pride or fear of growth rob you of beneficial relationships in your life. Take it as a blessing to have people who extract you from your comfort zone every now and then.


In our relationships, a lot of us like to take on the "Love me or leave me" mindset. I understand it being used for people who choose to judge unfairly from a distance, but not for those who are closest to us. Just because someone cares for you doesn't mean they agree with everything you're about. Sometimes we know for a fact that there are things about ourselves that we would like to change to make us better individuals ultimately improving our relationships. Sadly, it is easier to say "He/She just couldn't handle me." as justification, rather than use that person to help us make the first steps toward making that necessary change.



Granted there are some relationships that just aren't meant and certain situations can't work, but if you find yourself being left more than loved maybe you need to get a "handle" on yourself and re-evaluate your mindset. Check your ego and find a way instead of finding an excuse. Maybe your deliberate refusal to embrace positive change is pushing people away. If you want a certain type of individual in your life, first make sure you possess the same qualities that you are looking for. If you haven't reached that level yet, how can you possibly live your life on the defensive, wanting good things to happen? Afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to grow, afraid to change.

It is a fundamental law of attraction that like attracts like. Whatever you have, or are, you attract more of. If we truly want to change for the better, then we should change our thoughts and our words because they become who we are. In other words, our dominant thoughts are what attract the people and the circumstances in our lives.


It's your life and you created it, which means you have all the power to change it, for better or for worse. Don't get too comfortable with who you are (or who you think you are) at any given time. Who wants to stay the same for forever? That's not living, that's death for all intents and purposes.