This is the official blog of Gevar, Jrome and Vaughn. We named it Ghidorah because King Ghidorah is a 3 headed dragon, and in some ways we can be a three headed beast. We chose to blog because many people were interested in our opinions and conversation that they participated in. This blog allows people to see our viewpoint and even challenge our ideas.
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Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Wackness: Thinking Like A Man
... And stop worrying about trying to think like the opposite sex...
I have no idea where the idea "that in order to get a man you have to think like a man" came from. I hear females lay claim to having a male mentality or have the ability to think like a man at least once a week. Where did the statement, "I think like a man, so I know the game" come from? Why is it that only single, can't find a man, can't keep a man, borderline bitter females over use this statement?
How can you seriously believe that you can think like a man?
I know that the comedian, Steve Harvey, wrote a book entitled, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. I'm not attacking the book right off. I also have not read the full content of the book, so you can ride my comments off as ignorance if you want. I just don't agree with the approach, from the title's perspective and the initial content of the book, which has to cater to the title. I have problems with books like this because the reader absorbs the advice and opinions of one person on how to approach and treat an entire sex and race as a whole. To me, the key to a relationship is to just get to know the other person. Really spend the time to try and get to know them. There is no timetable to adhere to or some trick to use when it comes to forming a relationship. Every one develops and grows at different paces and you just have to understand that. You thinking like a man is a waste of time, and it is not going to get you a man or allow you to understand all of us as a whole when it comes to relationships.
I personally feel like a woman will never be able to think like a man and we don't want you to, at least I don't.
I can't stand for a woman to make claims that she can thinks like a man. Every time a woman says something like this she turns around and does, says and believes something that a male mentality would most commonly not do, say or believe. Why claim that you have the mentality then at the same time be completely confused about the situations you place yourself into? In the confusion of these situations you start claiming that men are confusing. Did I miss something? I thought you thought like us? The reason you are confused is because you are confused about what you want in a man. In my observation, the only reason that a woman would claim to be able to think like a man is so that she doesn't get hurt again.
Yes, I said hurt again. I have seen and heard too many women claim male mentalities after they have gotten their feelings hurt in some relationship they were in or thought they were in. In their minds they believe that adapting a male mentality will help prevent them from feeling or being hurt again. The reality of the situation is that they shouldn't have been in that relationship to begin with.
One of the sad things about trying to adapt the mentality of a man is that you are hurting yourself on a couple of levels. Instead of having or developing a positive male mentality, they develop one based on how they feel they were treated by by the person who hurt them. It bothers me that women view men as these detached and emotionless beings, when that isn't the case at all. That mentality right there lets me know that these women have no idea what a real man is. That kind of upsets me. Men are just as emotional as women are; only we place our emotions in other things. Everyone in the world does this. No two women think exactly the same and no two men think exactly the same either. Everyone has a different idea of love, relationship, commitment, etc. and the best way to know how that person feels or thinks about these topics is to ask them straight up and form a real relationship with them. One based on understanding and truth and not games and lies.
On the other hand, what if a man walked around stating that he had the mindset of a woman? Most women would instantly reject him and his statements. They would one up with a. List of questions that would challenge and destroy his claims. I don't know one man that claims to think like a lady or wants to think like a woman. I know some that understand their spouse, but that's not the same thing as thinking like them. However, we all know that double standards don't apply to women if it's not in their favor.
Every time a female claims to have a male mentality, to me, it makes her look ignorant and a little desperate. It makes her look desperate cause she feels like she has to fit in somewhere. She desires some sort of attention and a little bit of justification. It makes her look ignorant, because the way she wishes to act is the way she views men. If you want to lay claim to having a male mentality, then what kind of mindset do you have? Do you want to think like a "dog" or a man? If you hold the mindset of a womanizing, emotionally detached, or commitment avoiding stereotypical man, then that's exactly what you are going to unwillingly (but willingly) be surrounded by. Common sense would imply that you develop the mentality of the man that you would like to be with, if you want to make these claims. I want to be with a certain type of woman, so I have to stay focused and maintain the mentality that is necessary going to attract this certain type of woman (in theory at least). I don't have to try to get over on people or force myself into accepting certain things to feel accepted and respected.
The reality of it all is that, you don't have to think like a man in order to get one. Real women realize that this "game of love" is not a game. There are no special ways to prevent you from getting hurt, used or whatever. Confidence in yourself attracts men. Good judgement and knowledge weeds out the good men from the bad ones. SO, make better decisions when it comes to relationships. Have a realistic idea of what a real man is. We are out there.
** I have not read either one of the books that I have displayed. I figure if you read one you should read the other.
Labels:
acceptance,
change,
perception,
women
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I like this. Kim and I were discussing. She had arguments and I did too. But this is a great topic to analyze brotha. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks JO.
ReplyDeleteI don't want anyone to think I'm downing the tomboys with this. I think its ok for women to like the same things as men are suppose to like, but don't adjust your mentality because you think it prevents you from being hurt or gives you a leg up in the "game"