The Engagement Ring Question

Are engagement rings important to have in the evolution of the relationship or just a waste of money?

In my personal honest opinion, engagement rings are pointless, which to me makes them a waste of money. I've heard why people think rings are so important but in the grand scheme of it all the ring holds as much importance as you put into it. At the end of each day the ring will be nothing more than metal and rock. Then again my opinion is bias because I don’t wear jewelry of any sort. I never understood the fascination of wearing jewelry. In fact, I didn’t buy my two college conference championship rings because I knew I was never going to wear the rings (plus I didn’t like the color and shape they chose), I digress slightly. I asked this question to see what people initially cared about and how they view the traditional engagement process. To all the men I've asked this question to 90% don't put that much importance in the ring. The only reason the man puts his energy into the ring is because his concern usually stops at the woman's desire.

Women fantasize and crave engagement rings a lot more than men do. In fact, some women will go as far as to not agree to marry a man just because he didn’t propose with a ring. They want a ring so bad that they refuse to marry the guy… The craziest thing about it is that the desire to have a ring is so much more than having the desire to be with the "man of their dreams". They have more affection for an inanimate object which feels nothing than the man who wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Before your marriage even begins her focus is completely off.



Of course the ladies would disagree with me because they feel like the ring is a symbol of commitment. It is suppose to be some constant reminder that they are in a committed relationship. It’s some bright shinny object that wards off men and makes her friends' and coworkers' jealous. My question is why should any of this matter? Sure a ring is a symbol of "eternal never ending love", just a forever loop of affection and blah, blah, blah. The thing about symbols is that we often find ourselves putting more energy and focus into the actual symbol than what they are suppose to stand for. A symbol is just that an image. Christians don’t worship crosses over Jesus Christ… well Christians that have a clue.



I personally think that the majority of females out there think they deserve a ring. It’s entitled to them. The reality of it all is that you don't have to be presented with or present a ring to advance your relationship. It really bothers me to hear females say that they would not marry a man just because he didn't get them a ring. Why is it so important to have one? The ring is just reinforcement to the proposal. It’s a visual symbol that helps persuade you into saying yes. That being said that visual symbol can be anything. It can be a boat, a car, a house, a slap bracelet, her favorite flower, etc. It doesn’t have to be anything, because the only thing that should matter is that this dude has made a decision in his heart and mind to want to spend the rest of his life with you. He wants to cherish and love you for the rest of his natural life. The only thing left for the two of you to do after he gets off his knee is to sign some papers to make it official. No ring can take the place of that. You don’t need a ring to remind you that you are married. You don’t need a ring to ward off people because they find you attractive, that’s why you have a mouth. If you are incapable of verbally telling someone that you are in a committed relationship then chances are you are looking for some excuse to step out of the relationship. If you are desperate for attention outside of your relationship well I don’t know what to tell you.

To me rings are extremely overly hyped and that’s our fault as people. We lose sight of the things that really matter. I’m not saying that I would not get a ring; I just don’t want the person I’m with to lose sight of what really matters in our relationship. How much you spend on a ring will never equal how much you care about a person. Never has and never will. I just hope we keep our relationships in perspective.

-VP

Intro to Evaluating the Next Step in Relationships

The older I get the more I think about marriage and relationships. To me relationship is the only thing that really matters in this world. It's the beginning and the ending of almost everything if you really think about. With my friends and family taking their relationships to the next level I could help but to ask myself questions. They were pretty interesting questions if i should say so myself, so I shared them with my friends just to see what their opinions and thought processes were.

Some people think I think to much, and that may be in the case in certain situations but I believe that these questions are important. They way you answer a question actually says more about you than a lot of people think. Your answers can show where your focus is when it comes to certain issues. They can even tell you what kind of person you are. Of course you all know this. So I've asked myself and my friends these following questions and I will be answering them throughout the week:
- Are engagement rings important to have in the evolution of the relationship or just a waste of money?


- Would/Could you marry a man if he didn't give you a marriage/engagement ring?


- Would you still want to marry your spouse-to-be if he or she didn't want a traditional wedding?


- Would you create a prenuptial agreement or sign one? How do you feel about prenuptial agreements?


- What would you do if your spouse cheated on you? what would be your sequence of actions?


- How would you want to be dealt with if you are the one that cheated?

 Pretty interesting questions huh? Maybe not, but I recieved some interesting responses. So I'm taking over the blog this week. That being said it will mainly be my opinion being expressed so feel free to argue or discuss your viewpoint. I welcome it.
I hoe you guys enjoy

-VP

You Gotta Fight 4 Your Right... (World At War)

But not to party... for equality... It's ironic that so much "revolution" is going on in the world in the same month that we celebrate "Black History". I have battled with myself for weeks questioning if I should write on this topic because it can cause so much fire within people and groups but I could not sit by and not speak on it. If not for Ghidorah for those who have ideas/thoughts but fear saying anything. I know there could be serious reprocussions but right now I feel like somebody besides the media needs to speak. A decade ago most people couldnt have forseen how far we have come, not only in a technological sense but in the sense of freedom. The U.S. was beginning to be viewed as the land of freedom and decade upon decade we have tried to help others gain the same freedoms and have the same voice. For generations we have helped push democratic revolution around the world. Although it began long before the formation of the U.S., it seems to be perfected by the American Revolution. From the Magna Carta(1215) and English Bill of Rights(1689) to the French Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen(1789) and the U.S. Bill of Rights(1791), we have seen change, struggle, and reform. Places such as Philippines (1986), South Korea (1988), Russia (1991), and Serbia (2000) have all fought for and earned their democratic freedom. Now places like Egypt, Tunisia, and Algeria all fighting for the same rights.

That in itself is amazing in my eyes,. In the 60's-90's though most of us didnt get to see it... the world was making huge changes with the urging or the U.S. Now, The world is again making changes, yet not with the coaxing of the U.S., rather the will to expect better of their leaders. I look at their actions and almost envy their will to go beyond the expectations of their age and limitations. They put themselves in a path to expect violence, yet choose to not take aim with a weapon but with their voices. In a day and age where it is easier to get a group of people to carry guns, its beautiful to see a group of people get together to carry a message. All battles are not meant to be won, but thats doesnt mean its not meant to be fought. Call me pessimistic but I don't forsee another major movement in the U.S. like so many of us were able to be apart of in 2008. When Obama was elected, for myself, it was not a moment to celebrate a, "Black President", rather the nation coming together to say, "We want better!".

Today, more than ever before, we have a better access of what our gov't did, does, and will be doing. Sadly we are probably less in-touch with this aspect as we are to which celeb got caught with drugs, guns, or nude this week. Even in writing this most people will not think twice after they switch to their facetwitspace. In a time where we can see a little more clearly what our, "Representitives", are doing with our tax money and our vote, we choose to overlook it because, for some strange reason, it doesnt affect us. During the duration of the Bush presidency the economy began to plummet, with Obama it was a rescue mission (which has yet to be finished), yet with the next election will the numbers be the same as 08'?

Three hundred years ago the Americas claimed freedom, almost two hundred years later everyone was considered equal. I've heard many times that Americans have become complacent because we have nothing else to fight for. Even worse, the young black generation is even more complacent with the same thought. We may not have the next major revolution on our hands but we (Americans) do still have thing to fight for. Health benefits, Job opportunities, Reasonable pay, Affordable living, Reasonable schooling costs(tuition), Available transportation... we have reason to not be complacent... question is: When will we have the drive?