When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

"Imma do me!"

"I am who I am!"

"Love me or leave me!"

How often in the span of 24 hours do you see, hear, or even speak variations of these words?  We want to stay true to ourselves at all times, which is vital to our happiness, but just like anything else in life we must have balance. I think it has become more of a defense mechanism and a self-affirmation to spew these words out every time we are challenged in our way of thinking or living. Standing your ground is important, but how much is too much? When does keeping it real go wrong?

If our feet are planted at all times, it ensures that we can't be pushed down or moved backwards, but also ensures that we can make no forward progress. Being that most of us like to believe that we embrace change in our lives, sticking to our guns too much in life can prove to be counterproductive to our growth. We all need people around us who uplift and encourage our individualism, but also challenge us to be better in certain areas. In my opinion, those are the best types of relationships. Don't let pride or fear of growth rob you of beneficial relationships in your life. Take it as a blessing to have people who extract you from your comfort zone every now and then.


In our relationships, a lot of us like to take on the "Love me or leave me" mindset. I understand it being used for people who choose to judge unfairly from a distance, but not for those who are closest to us. Just because someone cares for you doesn't mean they agree with everything you're about. Sometimes we know for a fact that there are things about ourselves that we would like to change to make us better individuals ultimately improving our relationships. Sadly, it is easier to say "He/She just couldn't handle me." as justification, rather than use that person to help us make the first steps toward making that necessary change.



Granted there are some relationships that just aren't meant and certain situations can't work, but if you find yourself being left more than loved maybe you need to get a "handle" on yourself and re-evaluate your mindset. Check your ego and find a way instead of finding an excuse. Maybe your deliberate refusal to embrace positive change is pushing people away. If you want a certain type of individual in your life, first make sure you possess the same qualities that you are looking for. If you haven't reached that level yet, how can you possibly live your life on the defensive, wanting good things to happen? Afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to grow, afraid to change.

It is a fundamental law of attraction that like attracts like. Whatever you have, or are, you attract more of. If we truly want to change for the better, then we should change our thoughts and our words because they become who we are. In other words, our dominant thoughts are what attract the people and the circumstances in our lives.


It's your life and you created it, which means you have all the power to change it, for better or for worse. Don't get too comfortable with who you are (or who you think you are) at any given time. Who wants to stay the same for forever? That's not living, that's death for all intents and purposes.

YOU HAVE BEEN DENIED!

Everyone has been rejected in their lifetime. It actually happens on a regular basis, whether we realize it or not. I know I experience rejection daily. I can't even begin to tell you how many times my proposals have been rejected. When I look back on some of my rejections I i tend to laugh at them, and many of them I am thankful for being rejected.

Rejection doesn't always have to be a negative thing. We just look at it in a negative way because no one likes to be denied anything. Even if it's something they didn't need to begin with. If you were given everything you ever asked for, how would that help you? Where is the benefit in that? What lesson will you ever learn? How would you ever grow? Thinking about it, to never be rejected would mean that you are perfect, and we all know that perfection doesn't exist in humanity.

Rejection CAN make us stronger. It allows us to see and assess our faults (or the direction which we have chosen to travel). People who handle rejection well basically learn from their faults become better people. However, I said "can" because the people who handle rejection poorly, tend to either completely shut down or ignore that they may have faults. Those are the people who point fingers at others or punish themselves too harshly.

Take a deeper look at yourself. The next time you get rejected, ask better questions so that you can make better decisions and move forward in life. Ask yourself if you really need to be in the situation you were (or currently) trying to place yourself in, whether it be a job, a relationship, or whatever. Rejection doesn't always have to be a negative thing (it just doesn't feel good). You have to maintain a positive outlook on your future, stop over analyzing your situation, and believe that things will work out for the best.

My dad sent me this message a couple of months ago: Disappointment happens to all of us. The Bible says that the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. The Bible says that all things work for the good of those who love God and are called unto His purpose. So remember, the joy of the Lord is out strength. So there is no need to stay disappointed, God has promised it will all work to our benefit.

So keep your head up people.