How Do You Want It?

How Does It Feel?

Many many females feel they just KNOW what a man wants and needs when in all honesty its probably a whole lot simpler than you may think. For certain "HOLIDAYS" some feel as if they have to do something extra sexy/special when actually the fact that you've shown up has done it all... (i know krazy right lol) Yet don't get me wrong if you like going all out for your man believe me he enjoys it just maybe not how you want him to. There starts the problem and the lack of a problem all in one so now... lets break in ALLL the way DOOOOOOWN....

So you went to Vicky Se. to get that nighty that will show off your curves to an extent he may have never seen before. You cut off all the lights, light some candles, put on some nice slow sensual music. May spread sum rose petals on the floor from the entrance to the bedroom where you have the satin(silk if u got the money) sheets ready for action. He comes home, walks in the door and calls your name, asks where you are as he follows the petals, gets to the door and sees you on the bed, drops his bag n takes off his tie. As he approaches the bed starts unbuttoning his shirt then he asks... "what's all this for?(record scratches)". You tell him, "it's because i love you." and he proceeds to tear and rip away at everything you have on as he does his own. Leaving your brand new nighty bedside without a mention of it at all... there starts the problem! Cause THAT nigga and give you NO credit for ALL that damn work you spent ALL that time doing.

The only thing i have to say to that is... you did it to yourself babe. While you have some men that do appreciate that from the spouse/wifey/gf/boo whatever, it does occassionally go unnoticed because the lead up to it is great but the experience is what MOST men are in it for. Now if you're lucky you have a man that is willing to give you great 4play for as long as you need to get... READY! lol (If you dont have this kind of man subtle hints or a simple "(domination)role playing" will help) Men always notice your curves with or without clothes and very few men dont know their womans every curve(unless they just caveman that azz every night). Sexy clothes are always nice but not needed, you can probably get the same rise out of him just by being at home on the bed naked waiting for him. You could even try waiting for him at the front door (if you know what time he gets home) because after a long day a nice "session" is always enjoyable in an empty house.

If you listen to music like i do, alot of R&B songs can give you ideas of when and where you can surprise your man.

• R. Kelly - Sex in the Kitchen **
• Tony Terry - In the Shower **
• Silk - Meeting in My Bedroom
• Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love to You
• Donell Jones - Can't Wait
• Dru Hill - Real Freak
• Dwele - Lay It Down
• Eric Benet - Chocolate Legs***
• Ginuwine - Sex
• H-Town - Knockin Da Boots*
• Jamie Foxx - Freak'in Me
• Jodeci - Freakin You
• Jon B. - Can We Get Down
• LSG - My Body
• R. Kelly - Bump N Grind

Ok i'll stop there for now... but you get my point, they may not give exact details but from each of those songs its not just sex or just love but the act. The act is what most men focus on, now it's not right TRUE. Yet when tempted with the female body most men's thought process shuts down to some extent (now im giving away secrets so please take note!!!). If you want your man to do ANYTHING ask him while naked... I bet he will say yes to damn near ANYTHING not because he didnt hear you but its like a kid when you have candy, "It's A Wrap!" Now me personally i appreciate the nighty, and the candles, and oils, and petals. Yet some heels and a little whipped cream will have the same effect.

If you really REALLY want to get your man in the mood and change it up without spending a while lot or thinking you've done too much. Act like you are cleaning the house with little to nothing on, put on your tallest boots, black panties, and bra and make him call you by an alias. Do something to tease him while he is on the phone, computer, or working from home. If you want a special night do something out of the norm. Every valentine's people expect roses and chocolate candles and a nighty. Throw him a hook, pull out a whip (will not work on all but then again you never know), put on a costume, role play. If you like the flower petals and candles let him do that for you and let him know that he should. Honestly men are so much simpler than you think, but if you want to go sexy, something spicy, something pleasureable? Try something besides the "love scenes" you see on your favorite dram show. Go with something that makes the imagination run and temp in the room rise. For most guys the best time to do something out of the norm is.... (wait for it)...... ANYTIME!!! the less expected time is the best time. Best places to cattch a man... EVERYWHERE!!! If he hops in the shower(bathtub)... hop in with him and give him reason to feel like i have to bathe again lol. If he is in the garage working on something give him reason to take a break. Stressed out about work give him reason to be stress free, watching the game? Show him how to use that 15min halftime LMAO.

Dont ever allow yourself to OVERTHINK what men want, our wants are easy good love, good food, good music, good sports(entertainment), good view, and a good drama free atmosphere. So instead of wondering so much as to what you should do for your man and wondering what he WANTS i just told you... now his individual needs.... needs..... NEEDS!!!, thats different find that out on your own Ms. Don't think you have to do something sexy for your man because you are sexy in his eyes you just have to find a way to make him see the freak in you that we all know is there.......... yes i said "we all KNOW is there", because everyone can be freaky, but there are only a few Freaks lol

Now that we have that out of the way tell him "How you want it, and how it feels" lol

The Wackness: Thinking Like A Man

... And stop worrying about trying to think like the opposite sex...

I have no idea where the idea "that in order to get a man you have to think like a man" came from. I hear females lay claim to having a male mentality or have the ability to think like a man at least once a week. Where did the statement, "I think like a man, so I know the game" come from? Why is it that only single, can't find a man, can't keep a man, borderline bitter females over use this statement?

How can you seriously believe that you can think like a man?

I know that the comedian, Steve Harvey, wrote a book entitled, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. I'm not attacking the book right off. I also have not read the full content of the book, so you can ride my comments off as ignorance if you want. I just don't agree with the approach, from the title's perspective and the initial content of the book, which has to cater to the title. I have problems with books like this because the reader absorbs the advice and opinions of one person on how to approach and treat an entire sex and race as a whole. To me, the key to a relationship is to just get to know the other person. Really spend the time to try and get to know them. There is no timetable to adhere to or some trick to use when it comes to forming a relationship. Every one develops and grows at different paces and you just have to understand that. You thinking like a man is a waste of time, and it is not going to get you a man or allow you to understand all of us as a whole when it comes to relationships.

I personally feel like a woman will never be able to think like a man and we don't want you to, at least I don't.

I can't stand for a woman to make claims that she can thinks like a man. Every time a woman says something like this she turns around and does, says and believes something that a male mentality would most commonly not do, say or believe. Why claim that you have the mentality then at the same time be completely confused about the situations you place yourself into? In the confusion of these situations you start claiming that men are confusing. Did I miss something? I thought you thought like us? The reason you are confused is because you are confused about what you want in a man. In my observation, the only reason that a woman would claim to be able to think like a man is so that she doesn't get hurt again.

Yes, I said hurt again. I have seen and heard too many women claim male mentalities after they have gotten their feelings hurt in some relationship they were in or thought they were in. In their minds they believe that adapting a male mentality will help prevent them from feeling or being hurt again. The reality of the situation is that they shouldn't have been in that relationship to begin with.

One of the sad things about trying to adapt the mentality of a man is that you are hurting yourself on a couple of levels. Instead of having or developing a positive male mentality, they develop one based on how they feel they were treated by by the person who hurt them. It bothers me that women view men as these detached and emotionless beings, when that isn't the case at all. That mentality right there lets me know that these women have no idea what a real man is. That kind of upsets me. Men are just as emotional as women are; only we place our emotions in other things. Everyone in the world does this. No two women think exactly the same and no two men think exactly the same either. Everyone has a different idea of love, relationship, commitment, etc. and the best way to know how that person feels or thinks about these topics is to ask them straight up and form a real relationship with them. One based on understanding and truth and not games and lies.

On the other hand, what if a man walked around stating that he had the mindset of a woman? Most women would instantly reject him and his statements. They would one up with a. List of questions that would challenge and destroy his claims. I don't know one man that claims to think like a lady or wants to think like a woman. I know some that understand their spouse, but that's not the same thing as thinking like them. However, we all know that double standards don't apply to women if it's not in their favor.

Every time a female claims to have a male mentality, to me, it makes her look ignorant and a little desperate. It makes her look desperate cause she feels like she has to fit in somewhere. She desires some sort of attention and a little bit of justification. It makes her look ignorant, because the way she wishes to act is the way she views men. If you want to lay claim to having a male mentality, then what kind of mindset do you have? Do you want to think like a "dog" or a man? If you hold the mindset of a womanizing, emotionally detached, or commitment avoiding stereotypical man, then that's exactly what you are going to unwillingly (but willingly) be surrounded by. Common sense would imply that you develop the mentality of the man that you would like to be with, if you want to make these claims. I want to be with a certain type of woman, so I have to stay focused and maintain the mentality that is necessary going to attract this certain type of woman (in theory at least). I don't have to try to get over on people or force myself into accepting certain things to feel accepted and respected.

The reality of it all is that, you don't have to think like a man in order to get one. Real women realize that this "game of love" is not a game. There are no special ways to prevent you from getting hurt, used or whatever. Confidence in yourself attracts men. Good judgement and knowledge weeds out the good men from the bad ones. SO, make better decisions when it comes to relationships. Have a realistic idea of what a real man is. We are out there.

** I have not read either one of the books that I have displayed. I figure if you read one you should read the other.

What If I Dated Jennifer Anniston?

****So this might appear to be the lamest post made, bare with me, cause I kind of want to make a point. **** I was scanning over the top topics on Yahoo's homepage earlier this week and came across a story about the most eligible women in the world. The poll wasn't very interesting to me, it had Elin (Tiger's ex wife), Lady Gaga and Betty White ranked pretty high. Fortunately Jennifer Anniston and Halle Berry topped the list at #1 and #2, respectively. Seeing that Jennifer Anniston was ranked number one, the question, "Could I date Jennifer Anniston?" came to mind. I had to break this question down to two more questions: Could I date a woman that made more money than me? Could I date a woman that was a decade older than me? Now I understand that some of my sisters might be feeling slightly thrower off as to why I'm talking about Jennifer Anniston over Halle Berry. Couple of reasons actually. She came in at number 2 and this is my post. Hope that settle that. Jennifer Anniston is beautiful and talented. I'm a fan of her work. I've seen many of her movies and have a strong desire to see all of her movies with the exception of Leprechaun. In saying this, I do not know too many men or women who have not at least mildly entertained the idea or fantasy of dating a celebrity. We all all have our reasons why we wan to date them, but after I read this article and thought back on the GQ interview I read on her last year, I tried to put it in perspective and take the celebrity out of the situation. I really don't have a problem with dating a woman that makes more money than me. I find women who work and are able to provide for themselves to be very attractive. These women have a true sense of independence. A real sense that she doesn't need me financially but wants to be with me for the factors that really matter. It really puts my mind at ease to know that if life were to lead me down a financial slump then all the pressure wouldn't be on me to provide our living. She could even help me get back on my feet. I feel like we concentrate on money too much. If you don't have enough, then you aren't worth anything and you stress out. If you make too much... Well I'll let you know about it when I become a billionaire. Everyone associates money with success. This combined with the fact that men have misplaced egos and women are so insecure that they need a man to provide for them, just causes mess to me. How is it that if a man doesn't make enough money, then he he isn't good enough? For instance, I was struggling at one point and I just happened to be dating someone at the time. She would complain about me not buying her stuff... I didn't have a job. I was in school, and I didn't need to be in a relationship. Seriously when we are dating, it's not my job to provide for you. We are just dating, it might not work out, so provide for yourself or let your parents continue to provide for you but try to do it yourself. If a woman can provide for herself and her man, don't be ashamed to do it and don't allow him to feel ashamed to be taken care of. I don't know why dudes feel hurt when their women pull out their wallets and take care of things. Just let it happen. Get over your ego cause if they never tried to do it then we would be complaining and calling them gold diggers. Supporting, success, and providing come in many different forms and you just need to ind where you fit in when it comes to that. A man can be a strong presence in the relationship and in the household without being the major financial contributor. All my insecurities about my relationships wouldn't be about money. Money really isn't an issue with me. I'm not a bum. I'm not a mooch. I just realize that certain things are out of my control, and I'd rather not feel insecure about something cause other dudes couldn't handle it. Does it really matter that she makes more money a man? It really shouldn't. I feel like as a couple we should focus on something else. However, if I did date Jennifer Anniston, the only financial concern would be when it became time to treat or "spoil" (I hate this term) my woman. Here she is making millions off her talent and can basically treat herself o whatever she wants. It would make me feel insecure in that aspect. The fact that I couldn't do something out the "norm" for her. Cause my familiar would be her unfamiliar. The "WOW" aspect would be rather hard to pull off. I'm pretty awesome though, so I'm sure if come up with something, regardless of my income in comparison to hers. The biggest concern I would have about dating Jennifer Anniston would be the age gap. Only cause I have always wanted to start and maintain a family. Other than that I'm perfectly fine with dating an older woman. Jennifer Anniston is a decade and a half older than me though. I can do 5 years older but ten is sort of pushing it for me. Reality starts to set in for me, just a little. The older women become the greater the risk for birth defects and complications. Then I'm sure at the age of 40 and plus, having children isn't high on your to do list. With age comes experience as well. I would be asking myself, what would a beautiful, established and talented woman be doing with someone like me? She has been approached by many other eligible and probably more suitable men than me throughout the years. Again the idea of her choosing me is flattering but what makes me stand out over the others? It would seem a little off to me. Wouldn't really matter if it was Jennifer Anniston or not. I'm saying this cause I was approached by a 40 year old once, I don't know if had more to do with the fact that she was completely unattractive to me or she was almost my parents age. Either way, I rejected her, only to have her try to pawn her daughter off to me. It wasn't a great experience. I think up until that incident, I fancied dating an older woman. What attracts me to them are their maturity and wisdom. They seem to have a better appreciation of life and what it has to offer... Some of them. The idea that they haven't chosen a suitable man kind of trips me up. It sort of interest me to know why sometimes. Then I find out that some of them are bitter or a little disillusioned to dating. It doesn't apply to all older women, so I don't really see a problem with dating an older woman other than the concerns I mentioned earlier. There really isn't anything wrong with dating older women or women making more money than you in my opinion (as long ad your heart is in the right place). If you love each other then I support it. I don't personally want silly insecurities or superficial societal standards getting in the way of my goal to have a happy and successful life. In asking myself these questions, I don't know if I could date Jennifer Anniston, but I would heavily consider Eva Mendes.