Alternate Realities

I was at work chatting with my coworker when she made the statement that “everyone has their own reality.” I didn’t argue with her at first mainly because it made me curious. So before I kept thinking about it I decided to run the question by Gevar. As G was giving his answer my brain kicked in and started running with the idea of everyone having their own reality. To some point I can jump on the band wagon that everyone has their own reality but I eventually have to jump off. Yes, it is true that we have our own unique perspectives and certain things work out for some people that don’t necessarily work out for others, but that doesn’t mean that everyone has their own reality, at least not in the grand scheme of it all. If the concept of reality varies from individual to individual then reality itself doesn’t really exist, right? If it did then we all would have to agree on the same reality, which we don’t, so in my opinion if everyone has their own reality then reality doesn’t exist.

Gevar’s argument was that everyone has their own reality about what they go through personally and how they interpret it. He felt that we interpret things based on our life experiences (which I agree on)… being that his experiences and mine are not going to be identical, so in theory our realities are different. He also went on to say that everyone is at different points and moments in their lives… also reinforcing the argument that we do have different realities. I countered by saying that there has to be a SET reality. There has to be a true reality in which we all exist and agree on. Sure, the direction in life that you may take is different from mine but does that effect reality? Do we confuse reality with perspective or is our individual perspectives reality? I don’t have a definite answer to that. I slightly agree that we have our own reality, but whether we see eye to eye or not, it is not like we can individually mold the “reality” around us into something else entirely. Then say we did have our own reality. What if how we perceived everything was our own unique reality? Why would I choose to constantly live in failure? I have the control to change it, it’s my perception, and therefore I can change it if I find enough evidence to do so. I can make myself believe in whatever I want. I can shape my life into whatever I want. I can choose to conform to someone else’s beliefs or ideals or I can choose my own. Life is basically made from the choices we make. You are the choices you make in life and those choices mold who you into the person you are and how you are perceived. I don’t really understand some of the crazy things some people choose to make sense to them, then again a lot of people don’t see how I come to the conclusions that I come to. We will not particularly see things exactly the same and something’s have to be approached differently for some people to grasp the concept or form the same conclusion another has. Does that really mean that reality really is ours to make up? Does reality change from individual to individual? Just because you believe something to be true or make sense, does that really make it true? Truth means something exists without a doubt or is independent of too much thought.

Well that’s my take; I wonder what other people think of this question.



[Definition] Reality is defined as:

1. the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them
     a. a thing that is actually experienced or seen, esp. when this is grim or problematic
     b. a thing that exists in fact, having previously only existed in one’s mind
     c. the quality of being lifelike or resembling an original

2. the state or quality of having existence or substance
     a. (Philosophy) existence that is absolute, self-sufficient, or objective, and not subject to human decisions or conventions

3. Phrases
      a. In reality- in actual fact 9used to contrast a false idea of what is true or possible with one that is more accurate)
      b. The reality is- used to assert that the thrust of a matter is not what one would think or expect

Can't Tell Me NOTHING!!!

(Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothing) La La La La (HEY) Wait till I get my money right La La La La (YEAH) Then you can't tell me nothing right (Why are we...late) Excuse me, is you saying something? Uh uh, you can't tell me nothing (YEAH) You can't tell me nothing (HAHA) Uh uh, you can't tell me nothing.

Atleast that's what we would ALL love to think... Yet end of the day, money or not, it won't bring you happiness... A few days ago a friend and i were discussing relationships, happiness, finding happiness, and finding it in a relationship. Started as just a little venting about relationships and problems compare/contrast typical things most people discuss when venting, yet when we hit the topic of his/her happiness it got really interesting... enough to write about atleast.

When going into any relationship we always want to find someone compatible and usually find someone that is so different, yet so like ourselves, we fall into a state of amazement, confusion, and bliss... in other words, we fall in love. The most confusing part of any relationship is the lack of knowing even when you "know" you know. The assumptions, the second guessing, and the all out ignorance we then show when trying to be the perfect match.

Ex. His P.O.V. - "I just know she is gonna love this gift" only to get that "eh... its alright(smile)" Her P.O.V. - "He is gonna love this sexy dress i just got" only for him to not notice AT ALL.

So it pushes us to dig deeper to impress and gives a bit of a thrill, that we don't know our partner as well as we think. We hope to have alot of the same views but feed off the views we don't share. Some people feed off the monetary things we own or aspire for, some feed off the ability to do for self, some feed off family... but its becoming more rare to find those who feed off making as many people around them happy. We focus so much on self that we try to overlook others when unhappy.

Ask yourself this?

• Can you overlook someone who is sitting alone crying with out asking what is wrong?
• Are you willing to give something for nothing?
• Can you put yourself to the side if it will help another?
• Are you willing to give up a day to help someone in need?
• Can you ask for something and not do something in return?

Sometimes we focus on self to the point that we grow cold to others... now myself being a realist i say i "have love" for everyone i meet even though i don't like, or trust them til given a reason too. It's just something i feel should be earned; Yet, i also feel respect is something that should be given, until there is little to know need for respecting that person. I respect and have love for everyone but i have no reason to believe you are not an idiot until you show me so... contradictory? A little! But try this on...

You meet a random person who is kindly giving out candy, You just so happen to like what they are giving out yet you respectfully decline while watching others take a piece and keep it moving.

Now think, why didn't you take a piece what you really wanted one? Because you didn't trust them, you thought they were krazy, no one is that nice, people don't just give for no reason. All of these can apply.

If a week later you saw the same person there doing the samething would you turn it down then?

Sadly some people really do things out of the kindness of their heart, but when you come across this you look at those taking it as if they were krazy, ignorant, gullable. When we allow our fiend for money to cloud our views on making things "better" in life. True enough we can always want better for ourselves but sometimes you have to think about the good "karma" that can come from giving more that expecting to recieve. Some of you may take what im saying and agree yet do nothing but is your greed really something you want to have that "Can't Tell Me Nothing" mindset? Or should you just give a little bit of time, money, help to someone in nee wether it be listening to a friend, helping at a school/shelter, or just taking a moment to ask someone who is sitting alone crying "Are you ok?"

Once A Cheater!... Always A Cheater?

Since we were little and thought that being called a cheater was simply a sports or school test thing, we've heard that famous quote "Once a cheater, Always a cheater!" My brothers used to say it on the regular. So when i played sports i never cheated and never wanted to be cheated. In my eyes it was the closest thing to killing a person, cause i was that competitive, without completely knowing what way it was being used. When i heard females say it for the first time, usually the girls around my brothers and their friends, my first thought was, "what game/test did you cheat and why?" I guess you can say i looked at it as the, "Bitch Move", of the time. So wheen i grew and began to see what my brother's female friends were referring to then it hit me... "OOOOOOOOOH, you meant THAT.... yea". Still the thought of it being a "Bitch Move" never left my mind. To this day i'm 100% cheat free, though i have been cheated on (which baffles the hell outta me). So i will share with you some of my thoughts on the Cheater and Cheat.... ie(?) lol I have heard people try to give reasons for cheating. I have heard people give reasons of why they were cheated on. I have even heard reasons of why talking someone else into cheating is ok and not "my" fault. Yet still the action and the thought process for it is crazy and to this day i still dont understand a few things like:

• Why try to go back to someone you cheated on?
• Why cheat when you dont want that person in any other way?
• Was it worth losing something "worth while"?
• Did you really think no one would get hurt?
• If you "love" the person you're with what was it that allowed you to cheat?
• Why take them back if they cheated?
• If you dont want to be cheated on why cheat?
• Why help them cheat if you dont want them?
• Do you really want to be with someone who cheated?

(Again those are just a few) I have had many talks with friends, family, and Co-Workers just to see what they might say. Anyone that knows me knows i have always said, "if im/shes going to cheat i dont care if im/you butt nekkid in bed and its about to go down just pick up the phone and call and say 'look it's over', WRAP!!!" Still most people look at me KRAZY like "man please no you wouldnt you would beat it up then try n lie your way out". Sorry. Nigga. No. I have a tad bit more respect for the relationships i have been in no matter how bad the may have been (thinks back........ sigh....fuck it) and no matter how it ended i refused to cheat, although i have been tempted. But temptation is something you can fight off. as a matter a fact the best way to fight it off..... pay attention...... say.......... NO!!!

Do i believe that Once a cheater always a cheater... no, BUT, that doesnt mean it isnt likely to happen again. Sadly i see this as a problem with those who have been cheated on multiple times. Most females go through an average of 2-5 relationships where they have been cheated on, Guys usually 1-3. Why are the guys numbers so low, simple because we are expected to be tough, rugged, hard, so it makes it look kinda crazy to see a man crying over every girl that has cheated him. Problem is with it only taking 1-3 women to turn a man into a "Dog", like so many claim we all are, it takes almost double for females because they want to give it a chance or they think "i can change him" which usually only ends in more heart ache. Wether you cheat or become the "accomplice" to cheating you are just making the cycle that much worse. I've talked to one of the ones that cheated on me and it was explained to me that they "didn't know how to say they didnt want to be with me"..... DAH FUCK you just did. Too often we try to find ways of saying it after the fact. You dont have to go to the extreme of cheating to not want to be with someone. I mean really would you burn you parents house down just to say "i want to move out."? Common sense says if you're about to do something wrong you have two options 1. DON'T DO IT 2. Make sure it wont be wrong it you decide to do it(a.k.a. break-up)

Once a cheater!... Always a cheater? Nah just depends on if you are willing to change for that special person. For those who have been cheated it's all on how you let it affect your life, its a make or break thing. You can use it to grow and enjoy the next one completely or you can let it break you down and become someone you never thought you could be... a "Bitch Move"-er lol...

Monkey See, Monkey Do

I wanted to talk about this reality TV garbage and all these rapper groupies and athlete groupies spilling every one's secrets. I remember watching MTV saying to myself that Real World had to be one of the greatest television shows in the world, and it was at that time. It really was raw and real and presented a lot of questions and some insight into other people's lives. You have 7 people around or in their early twenties living in the same house for a certain period of time. It was a really good show. Watching people actually live in a house with a homosexual who happened to have AIDS. You cannot ask for better television than that. It wasn't just about the drama, it was real. Real World started off as a really good show. Over the years reality television has gotten stupid. Let's run down the list of the recent stupid ones (These are the shows i find stupid, if you like them then that's you, but this is my post) - Flavor of Love - I Love New York - Real Chance of Love - I Love Money - Baldwin Heights - The Hills - Keeping Up with the Kardashians - Jersey Shore - The Real Housewives (of anyplace) - Tiny and Toya - The Bad Girl's Club etc. These shows are ridiculous. Why do we watch this crap? There isn't anything behind them. You don't learn or grow from any of these stupid shows. No, not every show is designed for educational or enlightening purposes. Many shows are just for our entertainment and pleasure, but why do we find these shows entertaining? They are just full of drama and ignorance. Why saturate or minds with this crap for no real reason just so we can shake our heads and hit the social network to praise and bash these people. We praise and support these clowns for what purpose? Seriously who was Kim Kardashian before the sex tape? I didn't know who she was, and I could care less about her family. Yes they are beautiful women but I can care less about their lives, they are not interesting to me. Tiny and Toya???? Who cares, Tiny had a career and now she just takes care of kids ( I know she does other stuff, but again, I DON'T CARE). The Real Housewives.... this is so stupid... Do we seriously care about people who do nothing? When have people who do nothing become interesting? The Surreal Life spawned a series of ridiculous shows (Strange Love, 3 seasons of Flavor of Love, 2 seasons of I Love New York, 2-3 seasons of I Love Money, 3 seasons of Rock of Love, Charmed School, Real Chance of Love, The Entertainer's show, 3 seasons of Shot of Love.... and maybe some other ones I failed to mention). Monkey See, Monkey Do.... It has really gotten out of hand, it's stupid, mindless cheap "entertainment." I can't call it entertainment cause it barely holds my interest. I just don't get it, it's nothing new, nothing fresh, so why are people interested in it? But the WORST case of monkey see, monkey do to me right now is some fool trying to follow in the same steps as Karrine "Superhead" Steffens.... Kat Stacks, you are a clown. What Karrine did was not cool. Exposing people doesn't just make them look bad, but it makes you look bad, and takes away more credibility from you than it does them. Think about how that makes you look as a person. What are you trying to accomplish by exposing your sexual encounters with these various celebrities and athletes? She wrote 3 books. Three books for being a very very very loose woman. It's crazy. I know this makes interesting reading but where is your sense of honor? Of self respect and pride? I've heard Karrine in various interviews and radio shows, and she isn't all that bad. She saw a market and she had a product to sell and she can provide for her family. It wasn't the most moral thing to do, but it happened. Then came the Tiger Wood's scandal... moving on.... Now I hear about this girl, Kat Stacks.... seriously this girl is barely 21 and is out running her mouth, for what? She is just following suit behind Karrine but I see no purpose behind what she is doing. It's crazy, She just wants fame. That's exactly what it boils down to. People want exposure and fame. They want the by product of success, something they have not accomplished. I like what Melyssa Ford said: I guess what I'm trying to say is.... Be careful of who you follow, why you follow them, and your definition of success is. Do you really want success or do you want to be another face in everyone's camera and another annoying voice on the radio? Seeking fame over success only makes you look like a fool. If a fool is what you want to be, then I guess that's all on you. I know it doesn't feel good to have fingers pointed and you and lyrical bullets flying at your head. Be mindful of how your actions affect you and your loved ones -VP